Jul 03 2009

We’re going to have to wrap that newspaper in a paper sack

Published by at 7:17 am

Don’t you love it when your family newspaper tells you how to have great sex? If so, you’ll want to go have a look, here. I admit I was intrigued by the first paragraph:

Put away your vacuum pump, heavy-duty auto booster cables and edible latex Brad Pitt face mask-and-abs combo.

According to a study released Thursday, such items are simply litter along the road to great sex.

Brad Pitt I get, but heavy-duty auto booster cables? Do people (more or less normal people, I mean), use those for sex? I knew I’d missed a couple of beats, there, but I had no idea… Anyway. I don’t like litter so out they go!

Where was I? Oh yes. Great sex.

Apparently, according to that newspaper article (and who wouldn’t believe such a trusted source of empirical research?), “sexual fulfilment has far less to do with technique and perfect bodies — elements most often ascribed great significance by popular culture — and more to do with such factors as presence, connection and erotic intimacy.”

So pop culture and its countless magazines (you know which ones I mean) describing in great detail the 101 secrets to pleasing your guy are actually lying? Now that’s news!

No related posts.

3 responses so far

3 Responses to “We’re going to have to wrap that newspaper in a paper sack”

  1. Deborahon 03 Jul 2009 at 1:07 pm

    Shouldn’t that reporter be writing for Cosmo instead or something?

    And people wonder why our newspapers are all failing.

  2. Elon 03 Jul 2009 at 6:53 pm

    Gee, who’da thunk it! Connection is more important than a Brad Pitt mask (eww)! I’m keeping my jumper cables though, no matter what they say.

  3. College Humoron 02 Sep 2009 at 10:43 pm

    Thanks for sharing your insights!

Trackback URI

Leave a Comment


− two = 3

Get Adobe Flash playerPlugin by wpburn.com wordpress themes