When pregnancy comes as a big surprise

“Unwanted pregnancies” come, in part, due to articles like this one.

Flipping through Women’s Health magazine, (online is subscriber access only) I come across an article. 28 Days of Hot Sex! The Secret to Keeping Your Libido Amped! (their bold). Tips on having great sex is standard fluffy magazine fare. So I peruse the article, because really, I’m not immune to thinking 28 days of Hot Sex! could be nice, however highly unlikely, only to discover the reason why we are learning about 28 ways, not 30, not 11, is because the article attempts to follow a woman’s menstrual cycle.

Now that I just lost all our male readers, I can be more candid. “When women hear the word menstrual, they tend to think cramps and discomfort,” says our resident (female) PhD of the hour, quoted in the magazine.

Lady–there’s a reason for that.

Of course it is a myth that all women have a 28 day cycle. This will be true only if you are on the Pill, ie. you are manufacturing a fake cycle thanks to pharmaceutical companies. Otherwise, as any wise person will tell you, it can be anywhere between 25 and 40 and still be normal. Bygones. We (royal) keep reading.

Now I’m not a big fan of “how to have great sex” articles in the first place, which shall be the subject of a different post, but in short it comes down to the idea that if you love someone and they are committed to you–and yes, ladies and gentleman–that commitment comes only in marriage, you can probably figure out the “hows” without a guide. Maybe a little practice, perhaps. But no guide. Because really, the committment creates the great sex.

No, says Women’s Health. It’s all about hormones. Fair enough, I play along. Those play a substantial role in women’s lives. Let’s not pretend otherwise. There’s been moments when I thought I might weep while reading the newspaper, and while some headlines can indeed be sad, I am usually able to turn my frown upside down. So certainly they play a role.

But the article goes on to highlight the hormonal ups and downs, all the while happily declaring you can have sex Every Single Day Of Your Cycle! Even Day One. (Think about that for a second.)

At this point, I decide this article is written by space aliens. Male space aliens.

But my main point is this (those of you still reading can email me to claim your prize): The article happily goes through every day of your cycle outlining what sort of satisfying sex you can have, the hormonal ups and downs and never once mentions ovulation, fertility, or any of the very concrete reasons why women have a hormonal cycle in the first place.

I look forward to their next issue, which will surely contain an article about what can happen when women have sex during the fertile time of  their cycle.

But I’m guessing they’ll just leave that to Today’s Parent.

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It’s a good thing Brigitte is always ready to ask the tough questions: I’m just wondering, what’s the opposite of an amped libido?

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Andrea adds: Opposite of an amped libido could be one on the Pill, Brigitte. Oh the irony.

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