Sep 25 2010

I wish people would make up their mind

Published by at 9:04 am

I am thoroughly annoyed by this story:

In the moment, the sex felt consensual — welcomed even. In retrospect though, [MB] believes she was violated, her consent allegedly negated by a deception so “morally reprehensible” that each instance of intercourse with Kaz Akbar “constitutes a separate sexual assault.”

Mr. Akbar — described in public civil-court filings as a husband and father who “succumbed to the all-too-common human frailty” of indulging in an affair — assumed a fake identity on an Internet dating site and then had a five-month relationship with [Ms. B] using the name “Kam Ali.”

[Ms. B] alleges that the “Kam Ali Lies,” as they are collectively known in the court documents, were “part of a scheme to seduce [her]” and “secure her consent.” Her claim, regardless of whether it is settled or heard by a jury, will inevitably feed a thoughtful debate about what constitutes sexual assault.

Legal experts are already asking, if the “Kam Ali Lies” are deemed to constitute fraud and negate consent, then what other deceptions could undo consent? Lying about age? Employment? Assets? Religion?

A couple of things bug me. First, you’re not going to get sympathy from victims of rape and actual sex assault. So you feel like a fool because you believed this smooth-talking dude and had sex with him under false pretenses? Well, maybe it’s because you are.

Second, would people please make up their mind? Either sex is a recreational activity that adults can enjoy without consequences, or it’s a very precious thing that shouldn’t be abused. Can’t be both.

 

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