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For pro-choicers to consider

October 13, 2016 by Andrea Mrozek 5 Comments

This article is about miscarriage. My point in linking to it is to capture the sentiment of the mother, who was married, in a stable, loving relationship and yet, when she got pregnant, she felt fear that she only slowly overcame.

The whole problem with abortion (other than the disrespect for mothers, women and new life) is that a decision must be made very quickly.

So I wonder if convicted pro-choice people ever grapple with this angle. The idea that what appears to be a scary thing could morph into a good thing. This is so often the case. It’s true in moves to new cities, new jobs, marriage. Why not with the creation of new people?

None of it felt real. I nodded while we hugged, but I wondered if the test was wrong. We had been married six and a half years, and even though we had been talking about getting pregnant for a while, I wasn’t excited — I was terrified. Part of me still felt more like child than parent, made even smaller by this news. My heart knocked around in my chest, and I wondered if Zack could see the anxiety on my face. His joy made me more afraid, and more excited.

I use a free image site called Pixabay. I searched for images under the word "fear" and this came up. Perhaps it's common to experience fear in pregnancy, fear that women overcome?

I use a free image site called Pixabay. I searched for images under the word “fear” and this came up. Perhaps it’s common to experience fear in pregnancy, fear that women overcome?

Filed Under: All Posts, Featured Posts, Motherhood

Making decisions in the midst of the storm

September 26, 2016 by Faye Sonier 4 Comments

Rather, the title of this post should be “making life-changing decisions in the midst of the storm”, but Andrea prefers short titles over long ones, so there we have it.

We may occasionally find ourselves in the middle of a crisis or in turmoil, and we have to make a decision that will likely alter the course of our life. The decision needs to be made and it needs to be made now, for whatever reasons, and there is no other option.

But I’ve found in many cases, the decision can wait, and it’s often best to sit on things for a time to really consider all possibilities. Being someone who hates uncertainty, I have a near primal need to make a decision to just get over with it. Thankfully, I’ve learned from a few mistakes, and now force myself to step away from my laptop and put down my phone in order to wait for the crisis to pass, and to gain a bit of perspective.

Other times, if waiting for the immediate storm to pass isn’t an option, we can gain perspective from others  who have faced what we are currently facing, and who have come out the other side.

And that’s what Veronique Bergeron, a fellow PWPL blogger, offers in this post at her family/motherhood blog.

In her most recent blog, she writes about how many of us make decisions about our family size when we’re in the trenches of parenting young ones. We’re exhausted from sleepless nights, diaper changes, and wondering if we’ll ever eat a hot meal again. Here’s what she has to say about that:

These two conversations had a profound impact on me. On my perspective on having children and making family-centered decisions. It taught me that (1) none of us gets another kick at the can once our fertile years are behind us and once our kids are grown; and (2) that raising young children is the grunt work of parenting, the tiling of the field from which the harvest will later come forth. It’s a use-it-or-lose-it proposition: we don’t get to pour the time, care and affection we didn’t pour into our children once they are grown and we don’t get to have more children once we are older and lonelier. The blessings of children are not the sleepless nights, the bum-wipings and the ear-piercing shrieks. No. Those are the latrines of parenting. The blessings come later, once the field has been tended and nurtured, early in the morning, late at night, in the cold, in the rain, back-broken and exhausted, when you felt like it and when you did not. […]

That said, assuming I live as long or longer than my grandparents, who died between the ages of 80 and 100, I have another 42 years — probably more like 50 — of life without small-kid-insanity on the horizon. Fifty year. I haven’t even been alive that long! That’s what I mean by “another lifetime”: 40-50 years of friendship and support and family meals and visits and help and whatever other amazing things will come out of having a large gang of properly attached people around me.

That’s it! And I love it. Veronique sees beyond the storm, and is choosing to make her decisions that way.

Let’s not forget that storms eventually pass, and there are brighter days on the other side of them. Especially when we make decisions that have permanent, life-changing ramifications.

veronique

(Veronique and her beautiful family.)

Filed Under: All Posts, Featured Posts, Motherhood

Mothers in a modern era

September 26, 2016 by Andrea Mrozek 4 Comments

This is quite a thoughtful look at caring for children and the evolution of family. The author, Luma Simms, doesn’t get into the “mommy wars,” which is a relief. I’ve long been against national, state-funded daycare, not because I’m against daycare per se, but rather because I’m against this inequitable method of telling people how they ought to raise their kids (which is what happens in every jurisdiction where such programs are introduced, lest you want to tell me “but it’s just another choice!” We should be able to care for kids in communities and even when this is difficult, we should aspire to that, without government funding.

I also like how she touches on our prosperity as being part of the problem. Abundance is harder to manage than scarcity, as she puts it.

Finally, notions on family especially on the part of conservatives like myself, have been reduced to an individualistic model. This happens precisely because mom and dad and children as a model is under such profound attack, so it’s a natural reaction to defend the inherent good of just that: Mom and dad and children. That said, I agree with her when she talks about how this family ideal is itself a product of the sexual revolution, not the ideal we should aspire to. Parents need more help than that.

What many miss when talking about family and community is this: The two-parent, biologically intact natural family is itself a product of individualistic thinking. So we research and analyze but the whole time we’re missing something right under our nose, a variable we’ve assumed is immutable. Family breakdown didn’t happen exclusively as a direct result of radical feminism and the sexual revolution, although those accelerated it. The breakdown began when we reduced the idea of what a family is to the bare bones of two parents and their children—what came to be called the nuclear family. But from time immemorial family included many more people in its definition.

Anyway, an interesting read from a reasonable woman. I’m fond of posting the work of interesting women here. I’m willing to bet she’s pro-life too–as so many reasonable, smart women are!!

Luma Simms

Luma Simms

 

Filed Under: All Posts, Featured Posts, Feminism, Motherhood

Clicking on crazy

September 21, 2016 by Andrea Mrozek 3 Comments

When I see a teaser that says forced childbirth is responsible for global warming, I’m of two minds as to whether I should click on it or not.

But I did, and now I must share. This tidbit of wisdom comes from Gloria Steinem, who is living in a bygone era (as so many feminists are), one where people are falling off the globe due to overpopulation.

On the term “forced childbirth,” or it’s close cousin, “forced pregnancy”–this is a trope pro-abortion folks bring up as they completely disengage from any semblance of sanity or reason and ignore the fact that two people are involved in childbirth. A child is the result of childbirth. So where human life is involved, it’s not forced childbirth we need to worry about, but rather, killing people (read: abortion) because nine months of pregnancy is uncomfortable (which most assuredly, it is, even for a wanted pregnancy). Remember, no woman has to parent. I can find you five couples who will willingly adopt a child today if presented the opportunity. But once pregnant, even under terrible circumstances, there is no quick and easy way to undo that.

Oh Gloria.

(h/t)

Gloria thinks there are too many people on the globe.

Gloria thinks there are too many people on the globe.

Filed Under: All Posts, Featured Posts, International, Motherhood

“It takes someone strong…

August 2, 2016 by Andrea Mrozek Leave a Comment

…to make someone strong.”

This is fair to cite when lauding Olympic moms. Can we also say this is true of any mother who keeps her baby through an unplanned pregnancy? I think so. Except we don’t applaud those moms quite so much, because if we did, we would necessarily be condemning the choice of other moms to abort. Which somehow, oddly, some folks would like to likewise portray as courageous and strong. Since doing both is impossible, we simply don’t recognize mothers as much as we ought to today. If it takes the Olympics and a corporation to make this point about moms being strong, I’ll still take it. What this highlights also is the fact that we all need encouragement to be strong, and so encouraging or allowing abortion isn’t a step in that direction. Friends don’t drive friends to the clinic.

[youtube:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQ3k6BFX2uw]

push-ups-888024_960_720

Strong mom doing push ups with her daughter. Cool, except they should get out of the middle of the road.

Filed Under: Featured Posts, Motherhood

And then there was one

July 31, 2016 by Andrea Mrozek 16 Comments

I can’t begin to describe the level of pain I feel when women go for IVF to create human lives and then, when they are successful, they abort.

I cannot and never will begin to understand how it is that a woman who wanted children badly enough to subject her body to IVF treatments, gets pregnant, and then goes for abortion.

This cri-de-couer is the result of this article in the Post:

A Toronto hospital’s refusal to reduce a woman’s twin pregnancy to one fetus — at least partly because of a doctor’s moral objections — has triggered a human-rights fight over the little-known but contentious procedure.The Ottawa-area patient had been warned that carrying twins at her age could increase the risk of losing the whole pregnancy, and was referred to Mount Sinai Hospital for a “selective reduction.” That means terminating at least one among multiple fetuses, akin to a partial abortion. But the institution declined to provide the service, saying its practice was to only reduce triplets or more, unless one of the twins has some kind of anomaly.

Doesn’t aborting a twin and leaving one just cause you to feel a punch in the gut? We are mostly pro-life readers at this blog, so of course we mourn every abortion. But honestly, as when babies are killed for the possibility of Down Syndrome, I just feel this all the more acutely.

Not so for the bioethicists on call here.

A woman should have the right to choose, just as she can opt for other procedures with debatable medical justification, like elective caesarian sections, said Francoise Baylis, Canada research chair in bioethics at Dalhousie University.

Doctors also have a right to conscientiously object to providing a service, but are obliged to refer patients to someone who will do it, she added.

There seems no justification for refusing twin reduction other than “disapproving of the (woman’s) decision,” said Udo Shuklenk, who holds the Ontario research chair in bioethics at Queen’s University.

I suppose there is hope in that Mt. Sinai didn’t want to do it.

Sunnybrook got ‘er done expediently though.

If this other twin survives, I hope he or she never finds out what happened.

Screen Shot 2016-07-31 at 14.12.55

 

Filed Under: All Posts, Featured Posts, Motherhood

Sign a petition in support of Molly’s Law

March 24, 2016 by Andrea Mrozek 2 Comments

Just received the petition link and a succinct summary of the Molly Matters issue via email. Consider signing this petition, link below.

Have you heard about the new initiative to introduce “Cassie and Molly’s Law”?   Cassie was a pregnant woman who was six months along in her pregnancy. She was murdered, along with her unborn, but viable, daughter. This bill relates to the right to prosecute Cassie’s murderer for the death of the unborn child, Molly. It would protect pregnant women and their Choice from physical harm perpetrated by their family, boyfriend, etc.  I think this proposed law is one that both “pro-life” and “pro-choice” advocates could value and support. Cassie’s choice was to have her baby and that choice put her at risk.  Her choice, Molly, should have been respected and protected.

The Federal Government is giving us the chance to have our voices heard: https://petitions.parl.gc.ca/en/Petition/Sign/e-183

molly-matters-ultrasound

Filed Under: All Posts, Featured Posts, Motherhood, Political

Healing after abortion

March 18, 2016 by Andrea Mrozek 1 Comment

This is the latest information about an upcoming Rachel’s Vineyard retreat:

Rachel’s Vineyard is a safe place to renew, rebuild and redeem hearts broken by abortion. Weekend retreats offer you a supportive, confidential and non-judgmental environment where women and men can express, release and reconcile painful post-abortive emotions to begin the process of restoration, renewal and healing.
Rachel’s Vineyard can help you experience God’s love and compassion on a profound level. It creates a place where men and women can share, often for the first time, their deepest feelings about their abortion. You are allowed to dismantle troubling secrets in an environment of emotional and spiritual safety.
Rachel’s Vineyard is therapy for the soul. Participants, who have been trapped in anger toward themselves or others, experience forgiveness. Peace is found. Lives are restored. A sense of hope and meaning for the future is finally re-discovered.
Please call soon to register as space is limited.
Date: The next retreat in the Ottawa area is April 29 – May 1
Cost: The $230 cost covers all meals and lodging from Friday evening to Sunday afternoon. Financial assistance is available. To register or get more information, email or call us at rvr_ottawa@yahoo.ca, 613-806-5522 (Lynda or Terry).
main_anim_10

Filed Under: All Posts, Featured Posts, Motherhood

All things in moderation?

February 4, 2016 by Andrea Mrozek 1 Comment

The Center for Disease Control in the States is telling any sexually active woman who is not on the Pill to not drink. Ever. Our tax dollars at work, as one American friend put it.

I’m surprised that feminists are not publicly annoyed about this. After all, it’s a little degrading to presume that women need to either be on a daily regime of hormones OR never touch alcohol, rather than assuming the best, that people can drink in moderation and that this is fine.

Instead, the press piles on, writing a sidebar about a 43-year-old woman whose mother “drank” while pregnant and now she has the mental age of a first grader. One might presume this means the mother had the odd glass of wine or a beer. But no:

Kathy again drank throughout her pregnancy, but usually just with friends. She’d put away a bottle of wine, or four to five beers, during a weekend.

Drinking wasn’t her only risky behaviour: “The fact is, I had poor nutrition, smoked cigarettes, worked in bars and drank alcohol. None of this was conducive to a healthy pregnancy.”

In 1973, just a few months after turning 18, she gave birth to Karli.

More reasonably, one might offer up this story not as an admonition not to ever drink while sexually active and not on the Pill, but rather, to get help if you are struggling with alcoholism, particularly as a teenager.

Women are made to be fearful about so many things during pregnancy. The list grows and grows and if the shadow of a birth defect shows up in some early ultrasound, abortion is immediately offered as a “solution”.

I’m against abortion. I’m also against treating women like children. I’m against drinking to excess such that you cloud good judgment on a regular basis. And finally, I’m against making pregnancy so ridiculously difficult and angst-ridden simply because the culture of the age assumes no one can be reasonable. Here ends the rant.

Me and a glass of wine. Don't worry, I wasn't pregnant.

Me and a glass of wine. Apparently in an empty restaurant. But don’t worry, I wasn’t pregnant.

Filed Under: All Posts, Featured Posts, Motherhood

What if animals acted like we do?

January 24, 2016 by Faye Sonier 1 Comment

Frederica Mathewes-Green:

This issue gets presented as if it’s a tug of war between the woman and the baby. We see them as mortal enemies, locked in a fight to the death. But that’s a strange idea, isn’t it? It must be the first time in history when mothers and their own children have been assumed to be at war. We’re supposed to picture the child attacking her, trying to destroy her hopes and plans, and picture the woman grateful for the abortion, since it rescued her from the clutches of her child.

If you were in charge of a nature preserve and you noticed that the pregnant female mammals were trying to miscarry their pregnancies, eating poisonous plants or injuring themselves, what would you do? Would you think of it as a battle between the pregnant female and her unborn and find ways to help those pregnant animals miscarry? No, of course not. You would immediately think, “Something must be really wrong in this environment.” Something is creating intolerable stress, so much so that animals would rather destroy their own offspring than bring them into the world. You would strive to identify and correct whatever factors were causing this stress in the animals.

The same thing goes for the human animal. Abortion gets presented to us as if it’s something women want; both pro-choice and pro-life rhetoric can reinforce that idea. But women do this only if all their other options look worse. It’s supposed to be “her choice,” yet so many women say, “I really didn’t have a choice.”

Read the rest here.
gorilla baby

Filed Under: All Posts, Featured Posts, Motherhood

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