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Where is freedom of choice when you really need it??

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I had the great pleasure of celebrating yet another birthday last week. And with every birthday comes a hot stone pedicure. As my 8-year-old puts it: “It’s still a gift even if its no longer a surprise.” That’s fine by me: after my husband treated me with my first birthday-hot-stone-pedicure I informed him that he no longer had to wonder what to give me for my birthday. Or Christmas. Ever.

Last year was a little touchy since I almost left the spa with the police on my heels. When the pedicure was over I took my things and left. Except that my husband had only booked the treatment, not paid for it. Followed an interesting discussion where he (The Guy) said: “Why does it matter if I pay for it or you do? It all comes out of the same account!” and me (The Gal) replied: “It’s not good form to know how much a gift costs, let alone pay for it!”

This year, my husband booked and paid for the hot stone pedicure and I was instructed to show up. Which I did… looking very pregnant (as I always do, 25 weeks and counting). “Oh, the pedicure girl said, you can’t have a pedicure when you’re pregnant, especially not a hot stone pedicure.” “Why not, I replied.” “Well, putting heat on your feet might increase your blood pressure and when we massage the feet, there are acupressure points that might trigger premature labour.”

I suppressed the urge to laugh hysterically and said: “Is this a liability thing? ‘Cuz I’m not concerned: I’ll sign a waiver.” “Uh, not really, said the girl, it’s a rule here: we can’t give you the hot stone pedicure but I’ll give you the regular thing and avoid the pressure points.” She looked at me like I had two heads, probably wondering what kind of irresponsible hedonist would put pedicure ahead of risks of premature labour and preeclampsia. I got the same look the last time I picked up a diet Pepsi and a well-meaning observer said that aspartame crossed the blood-brain barrier and shouldn’t be consumed by pregnant women. I replied that at this point, I was more concerned about not gaining 75 pounds than having a brain-damaged child. That settled the matter… although I’m sure some people will never think of me the same way again. Sometimes, you just need an easy way out of a conversation, you know.

The esthetician asked: “Is this your first?” (I get that a lot: I must look younger than I feel). “It’s my sixth…”

Once she had picked her jaw off of the floor I added: “I’ve been 41 weeks pregnant before. Those pressure points? Believe me, they don’t work.” I didn’t get into the minor detail of having spent the last two years in the company of very premature infants. I understand the risks of premature labour, believe me. But I also know that there isn’t much you can do to prevent the birth of a baby who’s decided to come out 3 months early. Just as there isn’t much you can do about a baby who is decidedly staying put past 40 weeks, thank you very much. “Plus, I added, I have 5 busy kids, a husband and a full-time job. Surely, I do worse things to my feet on any given day.” She was not convinced. “Are hot stones worst than running after a two-and-a-half year-old boy??” Apparently not. Yeah right…

So I resisted very, very, hard the urge to say: “Fine, I’ll go get a second trimester abortion and come back for my pedicure. How’s that?” Because in Canada, I can. Can’t get a hot stone pedicure if you’re pregnant. But while we hold legal liability to a moral absolute, the pregnancy part can be dealt with easily.

Where’s freedom of choice when you need it, I wonder.

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Andrea adds: Oh dear. How annoying. Tell you what. I’ll toss some stones in my oven, and you come on over, Véronique. We’ll get you your Hot Stone Pedicure Birthday Treatment. Though me doing it may be something less than relaxing. A different kind of relaxing.

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Rebecca adds:

And for the record….did she never consider that the ludicrous nature of her assertions might be more likely to raise your blood pressure, and be even more conducive to pushing you into premature labour, than the pressure points she was worried about fondling??”

This is brilliant. If (big if) I’m pregnant again, I shall inform everybody who irritates me that they are risking raising my blood pressure, and I shall endeavor to hold them liable. Think it’ll work?

Apparently, I’m not alone

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After I wrote this post, I began second guessing myself. Was the media really so skewed toward Obama? Who am I–the Great Arbiter of Objectivity? Anyway,  thank you to the reader who found this story about How Obama can Win Over the Media–and check out the comments. I cut and pasted one which politely characterizes almost every single one: 

Win over the media? You guys have been his PR department for the past two years. Maybe you should do a story about how media can relearn the process of objective news reporting.

I may not be Miss Objectivity, but I am certainly not alone.

Deep rooted mentalities

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Many don’t believe that over 60% of abortions performed in Canada or the US involve coercion to some degree (usually by a mate or parent). That’s a conservative figure. While some claim having a ‘choice’ is an essential part of a civilized country, it is evident that the decision is not purely between a woman and her doctor. As part of daily life in this country, girl gets pregnant, and boy does everything he can to manipulate her to have an abortion. The only ones ignoring this reality are those who place the right to ‘choose’ above the welfare of women.

Why would any Canadian woman tolerate being coerced into such a decision? Aren’t we all strong, independent, assertive, and outspoken? I catch wind of atrocities like this, befalling women in countries like Afghanistan, and the problem is blamed on cultural mentality.

The central reason is despairingly simple: Women’s lives are not valued, and even women themselves perceive their suffering as being unavoidable.

Not only in Afghanistan do oppressive mentalities plague women. In this country, a girl or woman discovering she is unexpectedly pregnant knows instantly that actually choosing whether to carry through or terminate the pregnancy is unavoidable. If she herself wants to keep her baby, she is fully aware that someone else will, at the very least, encourage her to look at her ‘options.’ In carrying through the pregnancy, the baby then becomes her ‘choice.’

I’m doubtful that this is what the pro-choice movement set out to achieve. Unlikely that, from its inception, part of its mission statement was: “…so that every woman getting unexpectedly pregnant would feel some degree of pressure to have an abortion.”

So, just like in Afghanistan:

Questioning culture is, of course, a politically incorrect approach. But we must refuse to bow before the altar of tolerance when it comes to what is truly unacceptable, wherever it occurs.

Obama-rama

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A friend who noticed I signed on to the “Nobama, Nope” group on Facebook just wrote me to ask this:

I know he’s really liberal on abortion, but is he all bad?”

For the purposes of a pro-life blog–Obama ain’t all that. I think anyone could understand that. But here’s what I told my friend.

Obama, Obama. I realized something today. He himself doesn’t bother me. He’s a liberal politician. I can deal with that. The media double standard bothers me a whole heck of a lot. They absolutely fawn over him. And then go back to a pretense of being really critical thinkers–above the fray.

I don’t like wealth distribution. I don’t like Obama’s naivete on conflict in the Middle East (Let’s talk it out!) I don’t like remarks about how he’d love to visit the President of Canada. I don’t think he is solid on trade. He said he’ll raise taxes for small business owners. I don’t like his association with Ayers. Finally, on my biggest issue, abortion, he is MORE pro-abortion than Planned Parenthood.

The only positive thing I can say is that he represents in particular to so many African Americans a hope that they too can prosper. And that is positive, even if it is only a representation. Appearances are sometimes more important than reality in politics, so if he appears to offer hope, he may in fact do it. And I’d be glad for that.

Abortion is a litmus test for me. He lost me on the “above my pay grade” answer to when life begins. It was the height of disrespect to the millions of Americans for whom this is situation critical and showed that beyond the talking points he got from the Abortion Rights Action League–he has never actually thought about the issue.”

So not ALL bad, no.

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Brigitte adds: Re media bias – he better not do anything they dislike. They’ll turn on him faster than you can say “double standard”.

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Tanya seconds Brigitte: I think he definitely allowed them to raise the bar too high for the sake of winning the presidency, but now they sort of own him. A bit of a pickle, I’d say.

Ah, yes. The Important People Act, no doubt…

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Eliot Spitzer will face no charge. I will feel warm all over.

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Andrea notes the article says “Federal prosecutors announced Thursday that they will not bring criminal charges against Eliot Spitzer for his role in a prostitution scandal, removing a legal cloud that has surrounded the former governor since his epic downfall eight months ago.” Remove the legal cloud–sure. I think a couple other ones may hang around yet.

Can I say, me too?

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Michelle Malkin reacts to the post-election trashing of Sarah Palin by sore-loser anonymous “aides”. Two paragraphs stand out:

Sarah Palin worked her heart out. She energized tens of thousands to come out who would have otherwise stayed home. She touched countless families. I didn’t agree with everything she said on the campaign trail. But two fundamental conservative stands she took mattered greatly to me: She vigorously defended the Second Amendment and the sanctity of life more eloquently in practice than any of the educated conservative aristocracy.

And she did it all with a tirelessness and infectious optimism that defied the shameless, bottomless attempts by elites in both parties to bring her and her family down.

Well said.

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Andrea adds: I continue to defend Sarah Palin. Why? That the media thinks she is stupid don’t make it so. (NB: Incorrect grammar used purposefully.) When, in rare moments, her personality was allowed to shine through the thick media filter, all I ever saw was a warm and genuine woman. I will never be a fan of career politicians. I will never be a fan of a politician for whom defending basic human rights is “above his pay grade.” Abortion is the crucial social justice issue of our time. It takes a certain amount of smarts and courage to see that. Smarts Palin had and Obama did not. On election night, when I watched, some were taken aback by my support for Palin. Well, let me repeat it: I stand up for Palin, and will continue to do so.

(I have a lot more to say on directions the GOP can and/or should take now. And let me assure you, they don’t involve going soft on abortion. That is a recipe for ensuring the GOP never recovers.)

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UPDATE: Michelle M. set up a site where you can write Gov. Palin to express your support or gratitude or both.

If Spiderman is still available…

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Those who write in from time to time suggesting a focus on defining marriage makes me into a fundamentalist? You are right. I concede defeat. Move along–there’s nothing to see here.

I am no longer interested in three dimensions. I would even like to become a resident of the two-dimensional world,” he wrote. “However, that seems impossible with present-day technology. Therefore, at the very least, would it be possible to legally authorise marriage with a two-dimensional character?“

Never again?

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It’s Holocaust Education Week. Two good articles. From The Star :

In what he deemed a perversion of the Hippocratic Oath by which doctors pledge to put the health of their patients’ first, doctors in Nazi Germany believed they were caring for the health of the nation – even mankind – by taking part in the Holocaust.

and the National Post:

But it is particularly important for physicians to be aware of how easy it is to be socialized toward evil, toward becoming willing participants in a process of destruction.

I’ll let readers come to their own conclusions on what lessons to glean from these citations.

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Tanya sees many parallels like this since yesterday. I can’t even count how many times I’ve heard that 100 years ago in the US, a black man wasn’t even recognized as a person.

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Rebecca adds: The very first group slated for death in Nazi Germany were the chronically ill and the disabled, under the T-4 programme, after the address of the hospital where the killing were first carried out. The doctors who did the deed sincerely believed that they were ending intolerable suffering for incurable patients, who were otherwise condemned to “life not worth living,” and that by euthanising the sickest patients, they were freeing up scarce resources in an overburdened healthcare system. Any Canadian who doesn’t feel a slight chill down his spine at that hasn’t been paying much attention lately.

Your morning smile

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Courtesy of the Onion:

WASHINGTON—African-American man Barack Obama, 47, was given the least-desirable job in the entire country Tuesday when he was elected president of the United States of America. In his new high-stress, low-reward position, Obama will be charged with such tasks as completely overhauling the nation’s broken-down economy, repairing the crumbling infrastructure, and generally having to please more than 300 million Americans and cater to their every whim on a daily basis. As part of his duties, the black man will have to spend four to eight years cleaning up the messes other people left behind. The job comes with such intense scrutiny and so certain a guarantee of failure that only one other person even bothered applying for it. Said scholar and activist Mark L. Denton, “It just goes to show you that, in this country, a black man still can’t catch a break.”

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