Archives for 2011

I will make no comment…

LONDON — Feeding solid food earlier and not relying solely on breastfeeding for the first six months might benefit babies, a team of researchers say in a new study.

Waiting to wean a baby could increase the occurrence of food allergies and iron deficiency, the BBC reported, citing the study in the British Medical Journal.

The researchers said weaning could begin as early as four months, instead of the current recommendation of six months adopted by many countries, the BBC report said.

The World Health Organization issued the six months guideline nearly a decade ago, and the research team said this recommendation should stand for mothers in developing nations, as access to clean water and appropriate baby food can be limited.

“When you look at the figures, there are a lot of babies being weaned before six months anyway – and that’s probably the most important thing in terms of hard evidence,” lead researcher Dr. Mary Fewtrell, of the University of London Institute of Child Health, was quoted as saying by the BBC.

Bombarded with a gambit of DIY television, people in the UK may have a utopian image of what doing something yourself entails. The UK’s “largest single abortion provider”, bpas, wants to extend this DIY spirit into the medical field. For most medical abortions, a woman is given mifepristone (RU-486) in a clinic, then returns to the clinic in a day or so to be given a second drug, misoprostol. The bpas doesn’t want women returning to the clinic for that second visit.

British abortion provider BPAS has launched a legal challenge to a United Kingdom abortion statute requiring that medication abortion drugs are prescribed and administered in a clinic, the London Telegraph reports. The legal challenge seeks to change the interpretation of the law by amending the requirement that the drugs be “prescribed and administered in the clinic” to state that they can be “prescribed and issued” in a clinic.

At issue is the administration of the second drug in the two-drug medication abortion regimen[…]

Doctors have said it is unnecessary for women to return to the clinic for the second drug, as research shows it is safe and effective for women to take the medication on their own (Smith, London Telegraph, 1/13). BPAS and other abortion-rights advocates argue that the U.K.’s 40-year-old Abortion Act must be updated to recognize the latest medical science. Most countries, including the U.S., allow women to take the second pill at home, which many women find more private and convenient.

According to BPAS CEO Ann Furedi, the group provides 17,500 medication abortions annually. Furedi added that many women express concern about bleeding on the trip home from the clinic after receiving the second drug. BPAS has been trying to persuade the health department to change the requirements for 10 years (Boseley, London Guardian, 1/13).

Furedi said abortion services “should be shaped by best clinical practice,” adding, “It is wrong to compromise women’s care through unnecessary restrictions imposed by officials who fear criticism from those who oppose abortion in principle.”

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Brigitte adds: Not to be overly cynical or anything (more than usual, I mean), but I get way more professional attention than that from my dentist. What is it about “Take this pill, go away, bleed your baby out by yourself and don’t bother us with possible complications” that women find empowering?

We don’t exactly shy away from highlighting abuses of women and young girls in Afghanistan. (See a sample of stories here.) The more I learn about the socio-political culture of that country, the less I like it. And I wasn’t wild about the place to begin with. I blame the multiculturalists for trying to get the rest of us to ignore egregious abuse in the name of – oh, does it matter why they do it? I don’t think so.

Older, powerful men boosted their social status by keeping boys as sexual playthings and the practice was celebrated in song and dance, a military study claimed.

“To dismiss the existence of this dynamic out of desire to avoid western discomfort is to risk failing to comprehend an essential social force underlying Pashtun culture,” the report said.

British officers in Helmand requested the study to help them understand the sexual behaviour of locals and Afghan comrades after young soldiers became uneasy they were being propositioned.

American social scientists employed to help troops understand the local culture reported that homosexual sex was widespread among the Pashtun ethnic group in southern Afghanistan.

Strict separation of men and women, coupled with poverty and the significant expense of getting married, contributed to young men turning to each other for sexual companionship.

The study, called ‘Pashtun Sexuality’, said that as well as willing sex between young men, “boys are appreciated for physical beauty and apprenticed to older men for their sexual initiation”.

The practice of ‘bache bazi’ or boy play, is known throughout Afghanistan, but is particularly renowned in the city of Kandahar next to Helmand, where prepubescent boys are widely admired.

Western soldiers often report feeling unease at the attentions of their Afghan comrades, who are affectionate with each other and sometimes wear make-up.

British troops have also talked of their disgust at police or militias keeping young boys as hangers on.

Look. I don’t care what people who are over the age of sexual consent do willingly. But the business with the kids is not something Western troops (and Western citizens in whose names the troops do their work) should tolerate. Full stop.

Unhappy news in the U.S.:

NEW YORK — The long-term decline in the U.S. abortion rate stalled as the recession took hold, according to the latest comprehensive survey of America’s abortion providers.

The Guttmacher Institute, which periodically surveys U.S. abortion providers, reported Tuesday that there were 1.21 million abortions in 2008 and a rate of 19.6 abortions per 1,000 women aged 15-44.

Both figures were up slightly from the previous 2005 survey, ending a steady decline since 1990, when U.S. abortions peaked at 1.6 million and the abortion rate was 27.4.

And in China:

While comprehensive data are hard to come by, official figures show abortions are increasing, and Chinese media and experts say many, if not most, of the abortion-seekers are young, single women.

That’s a change from the past, when abortion was used mainly to enforce the government’s one child per couple limit. Today, students are clearly a client base: The Beijing Modern Women’s Hospital offers a government-subsidized “Safe & Easy A+” discount abortion package at 880 yuan ($130). Others advertise in college handbooks.

According to a government tally, 9.2 million abortions were performed in 2008, up from 7.6 million in 2007. But the count only includes hospitals, and state media report the total could be as high as 13 million. If accurate, that would give China among the highest abortion rates in the world.

Nobody with their heart in the right place can be happy to read these stories. What horrible, senseless waste of human potential. If we cared half as much about the lives of those mothers and babies as we care about the lives of spotted owls and bald eagles, the world would be a much better place.

The article Why Chinese Mothers are Superior has been a hot topic in Internet-parenting circles, blogs and news sites. The response to the article has been heated to say the least. I enjoyed reading this level-headed analysis for a change.

Anybody who has children in violin or competitive gymnastics  knows that Asian children are, on the whole, better. They are emotionally stronger under pressure and technically superior. To say that we, as “Western Parents,” are not ready to go to the lengths of hard work that “Chinese Mothers” put their children through is obvious. Equally obvious is that any skill requiring technique to succeed, like music or gymnastics, will be mastered through repetition. Practice makes perfect. It’s a  fact, not only a convenient catch phrase. Natural talent will only take you so far.

So what? If I have learned one thing in my parenting career, it’s that there is 24 hours in a day for everybody. The sun sets everyday for Western, Chinese or Questioning mothers. What you do with your 24 hours is up to you. I have accepted the fact that my children will never be as good as those who practice their music 4 hours a day; as rested as those who sleep 12 hours a night or as literate as those who read all the time. On the flip side, my children are more pleasant in society than those who read all the time; have more friends than those who practice their music all the time and are more helpful around the house than those who sleep all the time (chores oblige…). I have chosen to raise well-balanced children and steered away from extremes: they will never be known for their prowess at anything but they will likely grow to become competent, responsible, considerate, and generous men and women who are committed to live by principles of integrity (h/t to educator James Stenson for the catchy phrase).

That’s what I do with my 24 hours. How about you?

I cannot tell you how many articles I’ve received about this MTV 16 and Pregnant special that covers “the abortion option.” Pro-choice fanatics heralded it as the greatest thing ever, which meant my guard was up. But pro-lifers jumped in and asked how the special could be seen as cheerleading for the pro-choice cause given how torn up the mother was.

I don’t love “reality TV” and was resisting even taking the topic on as a result.

But I’m breaking down. The special can be viewed online here. I’ve seen only the first little bit at time of posting but I’ll probably watch the whole thing and update with my personal views later.

A recent blog post linking to a Slate article asks if parents’ brains are different than child-free brains. Off the top of my head, I would say that parents’ brains are non-existent. Actually, AWOL more accurately describes it: used to have a brain. In fact, I sometimes re-read things I wrote in University and am struck by how clever I was. Now, I stare at one of my children and call every other sibling’ name — including the dog — before I can remember the child’s name. A child I named myself!

One of my friends has a theory: what they call the placenta is really half of our brain. After six children, I’ll let you figure out how much grey matter I have left. But oddly enough, while I did lose short term memory and attention span with the “placenta” <wink, wink> I also lost the need for sleep and the ability to sweat the small stuff. Last night, at 2 am, when I was comforting my 2-year-old newborn baby, I marvelled at how relaxed she was, poured into my arms like warm milk; I marvelled at the complete trust she had in me, that the monsters of the night would not harm her if I only gave her a hug; I marvelled at the intelligent design of a child’s head, how the softness of the hair and the curve of the head was always a perfect fit for a mother’s neck and shoulder.

I don’t mind losing half of my brain as long as it is replaced with half of my heart.

They are out there, oh yes! Oftentimes, especially in the United States, less so in Canada, we are led to believe that being pro-life comes with a certain package of other political beliefs. That was never the intent of this web site, quite the contrary. The problem is that I am right of centre, and I started this web site, so there’s a “right of centre” bias that comes naturally. In case readers thought I wasn’t aware of that, I am.

Anyways, here’s a news article about a prominent Democrat pro-lifer:

What makes Cassidy different from many pro-life crusaders is his card-carrying liberal credentials with a long history of involvement in Democratic Party campaigns and legal fights to represent the poor and the marginalized. He admits that “there was a point in time when I didn’t think at all about what abortion did to women. And so I was all for it.”

That changed in 1990 when a couple came to him after their child was born with Down syndrome. The doctor had not performed tests which might have tipped the couple off to the baby’s debilitating condition. The couple wanted to sue for “wrongful birth;” meaning, they would have aborted the fetus had they known her condition.

As Blustain tells it: “Cassidy declined the case (asking himself): ‘What would it be like for me and for this little girl if I stood in the well of a courtroom and argued to a jury that they had to give lots of money to her mom and dad because they didn’t get a chance to kill her?'”

And so you see, even left-wingers can tell right from wrong. (That was a joke. I refer you to point A about my right-of-centre bias.)

There’s a story on CNN about how women can get ahead in the workplace. I especially like rules 1 and 8:

1. Quit thinking the workplace is fair

[…] The reality is that gender matters, says professor Sheila Wellington, who teaches the course “Women in Business Leadership” at New York University’s Stern School of Business.

She says one of the most common mistakes women make is believing the playing field is equal. “They have it in their minds that it doesn’t matter if I’m a woman.”

By acknowledging the barriers ahead such as the difficulties of reintegrating into the work force after having a child, women can better plan their careers. Wellington also pointed out some managers still believe women may not work as hard or put in as many hours. A woman can overcome this assumption by putting herself forward and offering to do more work.

8. The way you look and talk matters

Your attire and speaking skills affect how others perceive you, and it’s nothing personal.

Author and psychologist Lois P. Frankel says company cultures may vary, but proper workplace etiquette is essential for landing the next big job. Frankel advises young women to look to how successful senior female managers dress and emulate that style.

When women communicate, they should stick with simple but confident sentences. The more words used, the softer the message sounds, Frankel says. Women can also practice short speeches at home to help push their main ideas to the beginning.

Maybe you think the workplace ought to be more fair. It doesn’t matter what you think. So you have to work harder to prove yourself? Do it. If you care about the job, why wouldn’t you? But I especially like the last point about looks (and language). Please, girls, do yourselves a favour and dress for the office, not the club. Showing too much skin (even when you’re really good looking) hurts your career prospects. When in doubt, cover that cleavage a bit… (hint: if we can see all the way down to your bra without effort when you bend forward a little bit, your shirt is too revealing).

The other points are worth reading, too.

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Véronique adds: I especially liked  4. Don’t ever, ever cry at work. My husband ran a company with only men for about 6 years before a couple of women joined their ranks and he was floored by the hand-holding he had to do (figuratively speaking of course). Ladies, get a grip.

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Andrea adds: I’ve been away, so I’m late adding this. Just wanted to say that I’ve had to “hold men’s hands” in the past too. Don’t mean to make this tit for tat, but it’s worth mentioning. Every person is different. Finally, though I have fortunately never cried at work (I have come dangerously close) I don’t think this is a cardinal sin, depending on how/why it happens. If a couple of tears fall and you ignore them and move ahead, I’d say that’s just fine. If you cry and expect people (your manager) to care, that’s a problem.

I came across this blog post on the cost of staying home with young children, linking to another post on the cost of staying home with young children, referring to a series of articles on the cost… Not exactly a new topic, is it?

In the interest of full disclosure, I will mention that I sacrificed a potentially successful (I will never know) and highly paying (heck, why not?) legal career to stay home with my four oldest children. I returned to university when my fifth child was born and started working while pregnant with my sixth. I like to think of myself as a specialist in matters of family-work balance or (more often) lack thereof.

Let me make one thing clear to all the mothers, working or otherwise, thinking of “opting out:” this is not an economic investment. You will not be better off financially if you stay home with your children instead of working for remuneration. Kids don’t pay. If they do, it’s with your money. Anyway, they cost way more than they bring in. Until they grow into successful hockey players and hip hop artists and buy you a house, you will be out of pocket. And even then.  This is an investment in yourself, your family and your children, rooted in deep-set values and a sense of doing the right thing.

That being said, you cannot pay the rent with good intentions. If you decide to leave the work force to raise your children, someone will have to support you financially. This role generally falls on the other parent, often the father. And for each millionaire who can acrimoniously support his ex-wife to stay home with their children, I can name you 10 000 regular guys who cannot pay their rent as well as yours. As a result, your ability to stay home with your children hinges on a solid commitment between yourself — the caretaker — and the provider, also known as marriage (or something like that–civil union, nuptial agreement, memorandum of understanding, I’m not fussy.)

Women don’t find themselves suddenly “post-divorce, with two adolescent sons to care for, no job, no job prospects and a seriously dated resume that looks less-than-stellar in the middle of a recession” because they stayed home with their children but because of the breakdown of their marriage. Don’t get me wrong: my resume is less-than-stellar and I am working an entry-level job for an entry-level salary in my late-thirties.  Staying home for ten years has kept me from building-up my resume and networking in the workplace. However, it should be understood that the most important decisions of your parenting career are the myriad of choices, small and large, that build-up (or destroy) a solid commitment between you and your spouse (or whatever you call the person you reproduce with). A solid, respectful — ideally loving — relationship between parents is the bedrock of all parenting decisions. The rest, including the loss of income and work experience, will fall into place.