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Archives for May 2008

Whatever you do, never say you’re sorry

May 31, 2008 by Tanya Zaleski 1 Comment

My favorite uncle passed away a few months ago. He once teased that he was only my favorite uncle by default, as he belonged to my favorite aunt. They had been happily married 41 years. She mourned very deeply for weeks. Although she seems much better now, we who love her do understand that her mourning period is not over. Autumn will bring with it his birthday. Then will come her first Christmas without him, not to mention next spring reminding her of the days she spent by his hospital bed before he finally died.

I think of the state my aunt is in now. She isn’t on the constant verge of tears; she laughs and jokes…I recognize her again. It would, however, be inconceivable for her to now share how easy it has been to recover from the loss of her dear husband. She knows these things take time, and come in waves. No one can safely say, after a few days or weeks, how an experience has permanently affected them.

With this understanding in my pocket, I took a trip to I’m Not Sorry.net. As I understand it, this site is the pro-choice response to Silent No More (or here in Canada). Both of these offer women’s stories of past abortions.

I can safely say that two-thirds of the testimonies I read on I’m Not Sorry were by women who had undergone an abortion within the last year; most shared their stories a day or two after the fact. Wisely, a pro-choice organization has decided to publish these stories, which don’t usually lack emotion, but do often lack any sort of full perspective of what the abortion experience is really like, long-term, for a woman.

 

Some of the women’s stories enumerated the following sentiments:

  • “I am still unsure how I feel about everything, although I know what’s done is done. I am unsettled, but I am starting to feel better.” Amelia; 2 days later

  • “It has been two weeks, and I haven’t cried in days, I have slept, and I know my baby is in Heaven, and one day when I know I can do it, and provide a better life, I will.” Ashley; 2 weeks later

  • “Checking my phone for a missed call from him [the father] hoping I could tell them [the clinic] to keep the $400.00, and make my way home with my baby… He wants me to feel bad and terrible [now] and I never will.” Ashley D.; the next day

  • “I have no idea what this will bring me in 20 years. But it has brought me relief. No regrets.” Kayla; the next day

  • “I do not regret the first abortion that I had…but I do not want to do this to myself again.” Nadia; 1 year ago

These are the portraits of women who escape ‘unscathed’ from the abortion experience. No words.

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Andrea adds: Some of the best testimonies against abortion are found when pro-choicers let women express themselves openly. “It has been two weeks, and I haven’t cried in days, I have slept, and I know my baby is in Heaven, and one day when I know I can do it, and provide a better life, I will.” This is a good reminder of what happens in an abortion. A baby dies. Now we can look and say–there are reasons for that, or these situations are complicated, or I couldn’t tell her what to do, or “who are you to say, Andrea Mrozek, that she would have been better off keeping this baby?” But I am going to stick to my guns and say this: We are always better off when we keep babies, when we let them live and when we don’t give women like Ashley–so poignantly describing her tears and how she is now sleeping again–that choice. “My baby is in Heaven”? Your baby could have been right here on earth.

Remember Emma Beck when you begin to think abortion is compassionate… her babies were in Heaven and she went on to join them prematurely.

Filed Under: All Posts Tagged With: remourse, Sorry

Thank you for not thinking

May 31, 2008 by Andrea Mrozek Leave a Comment

Courtesy of The Shotgun, this excellent ad about sums it up. And yet I wonder, and only partially in jest: Does the York Federation of Students know what the KGB is?

 

Filed Under: All Posts Tagged With: KGB, Thank you for not thinking, York Federation of students

Two anecdotes on a Saturday morning

May 31, 2008 by Andrea Mrozek Leave a Comment

These two anecdotes came to me courtesy of distinctly non-religious people and the women featured are their friends, not mine:

 

 

One: A woman, now married, was once a doctor who did some abortions. No more. But now she’d like to conceive and can’t and says she thinks God is punishing her.

 

 

Two: A woman, single, gets pregnant and has an abortion. She later gets married and has a son, all is well. He is killed in an accident in his teens. She thinks that God is punishing her.

 

 

A couple of thoughts come to me. First off, there are repercussions from abortion that are not easily measured. It would have to be some kind of specially-designed, longitudinal study that could get at the guilt and pain two decades later, arising the result of the death of a son, for example.

 

Secondly, I do not buy into the God as Great Punisher model, and I do not do so with some justification. God in the Christian conception does not run “on one strike and you’re out!” and is rather a God of love and forgiveness, even when egregious mistakes are made. Plus, these random comments show that religious or non, God is in the picture, for many folks. And those in the abortion-related business, ought to be prepared to address meta-physical questions, and correct misconceptions, too.

 

But the main point is that I am amazed at the manner in which abortion haunts these women.  These are some of the things I hear on the street in my life, day to day. They just come up, when we give the opportunity.

Filed Under: All Posts Tagged With: God, God and abortion, woman and abortions, women and faith

Beijing prostitutes–one, Sex in the City characters–zero

May 30, 2008 by Andrea Mrozek Leave a Comment

Last night I flipped back and forth on television between two things. One, a CBC documentary on the rise of prostitution in Communist China. It’s something Communist nations typically have a stranglehold over—being totalitarian and all–but the Communist regime there is turning a blind eye because of the rising numbers of single men. CBC did not mention this is because of sex selection abortion and the one-child policy.  

 

The program went on to say that these young girls are lured from the rural countryside into the cities, and they know nothing about “safe sex.”

 

The other program I watched was a “documentary” on how Sex in the City came to be a program. Lots of men talking about how they realized that there had never been a show about women’s attitudes toward sex. And wouldn’t that be so interesting. To have men decide what women’s attitudes on sex are. And how avant-garde it all was, and how they weren’t even sure if they could call it Sex in the City…And could they convince Kim Cattrall? The tension was enormous, as you can imagine.

 

And I was left thinking two things. One, the women on Sex in the City don’t know anything about safe sex either. But still, the girls in China are one up on them. For at least they are getting paid. The characters in Sex in the City give it all up, over and over—sex, dignity, you name it—for free. Very avant-garde, indeed.

 

(cross-posted to The Shotgun)

______________________________

 

Véronique adds: An excellent column by Fr. Raymond de Souza on that topic.

 

______________________________

 

Andrea updates: I wrote this blog post before I read this Globe and Mail review–which, ironically gave the movie a whopping zero stars. Apparently you don’t have to be a priest to have higher standards than Sex in the City offers. My favourite line in the review:

 

That means the iconic foursome with their adjectival personalities – bouncy Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker), horny Samantha (Kim Cattrall), judicious Miranda (Cynthia Nixon), preppy Charlotte (Kristin Davis) – don’t perform so much as parade, fixed in their roles as semi-animated clothes hangers on a cinematic runway.

Filed Under: All Posts Tagged With: Beijing, Communism, safe sex, SEx in the City

Channeling my idle banter

May 30, 2008 by Andrea Mrozek Leave a Comment

Folks. This is going to be a busy weekend. Why? Because at ProWomanProLife we are not all about idle banter. This weekend, I am going to attempt to do something useful. I will direct my idle banter at specific individuals in the form of letters. Three letters.

1. A letter to York University Vice-president Robert J. Tiffin, who disagrees with the attempt of the student union to ban pro-life clubs. This letter will be one of support, encouragement. A little “thank you for the common sense,” if you will

(Update: This letter indicates less support, more questions for a letter to Mr. Tiffin.)

2. A letter to the York University Federation of students. This one will not be a letter of support and encouragement. But I promise not to swear and since they claim abortion is an issue of women’s rights, I must, of course, challenge that idea

3. A letter to the Advertising Standards Council. To say hello–and add that I did not find Life Canada’s ad campaign offensive, and it was above all, truthful

Now I tell you this because:

a. you may like to “join me” this weekend in this letter writing bonanza, putting your pens to paper to “express yourself” like Madonna. (Many of you may prefer to just express yourself, no Madonna. That’s fine too.)

b. having told you this I will actually do it.

Does one letter change the world? No. Do three? Probably…not. But fighting for life is a fight for freedom, which is worth much more than a couple of hours on a weekend. “For our freedom and yours!” –that’s the Polish side of me talking. Sometimes I quote Madonna, sometimes Thaddeus Kosciuszko–pay attention and bear with me.

So here’s to a good weekend, a small turnout for what I have heard is a union-funded Bill C-484 protest in Montreal on Saturday, and a return to sunshine on Sunday.

Filed Under: All Posts Tagged With: Advertising Standards Council, Freedom of speech, York University

Oh what the heck, let’s kill people – they’re such a bother

May 29, 2008 by Brigitte Pellerin Leave a Comment

Assisted suicide bill passes California Assembly and Belgian legislators seek to legalize euthanasia for the unconscious and children.

California:

AB 2747 would authorize total sedation without nutrition and hydration for depressed and confused patients, whether or not their natural death was imminent. The bill would also allow family members to order the death of a mentally disabled person when a nurse opines they have less than a year to live, similar to Terry Schindler Schiavo’s death at the hands of her husband.

[…]

This is the fourth time that the assisted suicide bill has been pushed by Assembly Democrats Patty Berg and Lloyd Levine. But this year, instead of proposing to have doctors administer lethal injections, AB 2747 aims to produce death by sedation abuse, a clear violation of life-affirming medical ethics. Until now, total sedation has been used only when death was imminent – within hours or days – and when strong pain medication was not enough. Medical ethics require that food and water (nutrition and hydration) not be removed when sleep-inducing drugs are used, since doing so would cause unnatural, as opposed to natural, death. Yet AB 2747 pushes total sedation even if patients have not rejected food and water.

Belgium:

A group of legislators in Belgium is seeking to expand the practice of euthanasia  to include those who are unconscious, as well as minors, according to a recent article in the Spanish newspaper Hoy.

The initiative, spearheaded by former Senator Jean-Jacques de Gucht, was originally launched in 2004 and failed, the article states. 

The new proposed legislation will allow people to create a type of “living will” that will allow doctors to euthanize them if they are unconscious and unable to give consent. 

While euthanasia has been legal in Belgium 2002, the existing law has prohibited the practice under the above-mentioned circumstances.

Doctors who refuse to kill their patients under the law will be required to refer them to a doctor who is willing to do it, reports Hoy.

Ah, progress. What would we do without it?

Filed Under: All Posts Tagged With: Belgium, California, Euthanasia

Hypocrite, and proud of it

May 29, 2008 by Tanya Zaleski Leave a Comment

In Quebec, cell phone use was recently banned while driving. The ban took effect April 1st. However, until July 1st, no legal charges will be pressed.

An offence will result in a fine of $80 to $100 plus costs and three demerit points for drivers at fault. Over the next three months, offenders will receive a warning, but starting July 1, 2008, peace officers may issue a notice of offence.

Cell phone use while driving is no more or less dangerous depending on its legality, or risk of legal consequences. So if it’s dangerous, why are only warnings being issued? Is this hypocrisy, or is there not an understanding within our society that we need to allow time for change?

Segue now to this issue.

If abortion is murder, why is NO ONE, not even pro-lifers, willing to imprison the women who have them?

… So why does she get off so easily? To really fathom their tolerance for these female killers, watch how many of them they will embrace, coddle, and hug at a pro-life rally… as long as they shows [sic] remorse.

For at least a full generation now, women have been told it is their human right to have an abortion. If a pro-abortion advocate wants to know why I might ‘coddle and hug’ a woman who is experiencing remorse over a past abortion, part of my answer is this: she is also a victim of our abortion-advocating society.

If cell phone use while driving warrants three months of leeway, how much leeway are we to offer women who have been raised and indoctrinated to believe abortion is their human right; abortion is the most valid “choice”; abortion is safe; abortion evacuates a blob of tissue; abortion is necessary; abortion goes hand in hand with the liberation of women?

Furthermore, the more we hear of attempts to silence the pro-life voice, the more it is apparent that these women are victims of a society that only wants one side of the issue exposed.

If abortion were criminalized tomorrow, I would not want to see these women imprisoned. If that makes me a hypocrite, I’m glad to be one.

Filed Under: All Posts Tagged With: imprisonment

Thoughts on equality or lack thereof

May 29, 2008 by Véronique Bergeron Leave a Comment

I heard about this latest bit of pro-abortion news yesterday afternoon. Normally, I would have been seized by the urge to blog. But I have been flying solo this week, taking the full brunt of running the household while my husband is out of town. Not to mention finishing my [expletive deleted] LL.M. thesis and looking for gainful employment. I am tired. And suddenly, I was overcome by a feeling that the battle had been lost, that everything had been written, every argument laid out, and still, people didn’t care.

 

But when I heard that the said award had been granted for “outstanding service to humanity and for his contribution to the cause of equality for women” the feeling of hopelessness was quickly replaced by an overwhelming urge to yell at someone. I tried writing, I did. But I couldn’t write anything that wasn’t seasoned with a generous dose of profanities. Out of respect for our beloved readers, I chose to run 5 km during my daughters’ gym class before heading home at 9 pm to make lunches, clean the kitchen, run a load of laundry, sign permissions, take out the trash, read bedtime stories, and watch three consecutive episodes of Jon & Kate +8 while checking my emails. In the end, I went to bed way too late to be angry and am therefore in a much better disposition to write a well-balanced thoughtful post. Well, we’ll see.

 

Equality for women. The cause of equality for women. And what would be abortion’s contribution to equality for women? We hear it so much we no longer pause to wonder “oh yeah? and why is that?” This is not a rhetorical question. We need to reflect on the underlying assumptions of making abortion an “equality” issue. Because if equality between men and women really hinges on access to abortion, we are a lot farther behind achieving meaningful equality than we flatter ourselves to be. Women need abortion to be equal in order not to be weighted down by children.

 

This premise contains, at first glance, two important inequalities. The first one being that men are not (or shouldn’t be) weighted down by children. The second one being that children are social dead weight. I believe that thoughtful abortion advocates would see clearly through the inequality of equality through abortion but would counter-argue that in the present circumstances, it is unfair to make women bear the brunt of our social inertia. But what pro-woman pro-life advocates see is that equality has been achieved at the cost of fairness and that access to abortion has only promoted the inferiority of women as bearers of children. The vicious circle has to stop an we need to make women equal as they are — with a uterus and all — not as society wishes them to be.

 

Equally problematic is the notion that equality in society is somehow “granted.” Think about it: we have “achieved” equality with access to abortion. Shouldn’t we just “be” equal? Doesn’t the very idea of having to achieve equality fundamentally unequal and unfair? It would be equivalent to saying that immigrants achieve equality once they become white, anglo-saxon and Protestant. What kind of equality is that?

________________________________

Tanya adds:

Tanya points out from the link above:”The court’s ruling in 1988 declared the law that prohibited abortion to be unconstitutional, thus confirming women’s reproductive rights.”

Let’s not wonder why there’s misunderstanding over the fabric of the abortion issue in this country.

To correct the above phrasing, the court’s ruling in 1988 declared the law that regulated access to abortion to be unconstitutional. Over 20 years later, and no new law regulating access to abortion has been passed, contrary to the wishes of the Supreme Court. “thus confirming” nothing…nothing at all. On se permet des choses, en tout cas!

 

Filed Under: All Posts Tagged With: abortion, award, Canadian Labour Congress, equality, Henry Morgentaler

Women’s rights versus freedom of speech

May 29, 2008 by Andrea Mrozek Leave a Comment

In the Post, today, a report about the ban of pro-life groups on campus. Again. Says Gilary Massa, vice-president of the York Federation of Students:

Is this an issue of free speech? No, this is an issue of women’s rights.

Broken record alert: It is no one’s right to have an abortion. Abortion is not now, never was a right. The Supreme Court of Canada never said that. And if you take away freedom of speech, you sure don’t enhance women’s rights. Repeating this is getting tiring, but then again, I’m not the one initiating thought bans at major universities.  

Cross-posted to The Shotgun

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Brigitte notes: Damian P. has a great one-liner on this business of absolute “pro-choicers” who want to silence other points of view. “You have the absolute right to do whatever you want with your body. Except your mouth.”

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Tanya adds: Well, the powers that be can’t control everyone’s ears, so they’ve opted to control a few mouths. That way, they have more hope of controlling your thoughts.

Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows

-George Orwell, 1984

Do they not teach Orwell at York U?

__________________________________

Andrea adds: They probably teach it, Tanya, but it’s not compulsory like “Banning stuff that personally bugs me 101.” Orwell, was after all, a man. Or at least he thought he was. But there’s probably a course to correct ancient and oppressive ideas like “male” and “female” as well. I think that’s the point of most Womyn’s Studies departments, all told. 

Filed Under: All Posts Tagged With: Gilary Massa, York University Federation of Students

Kids!

May 29, 2008 by Brigitte Pellerin Leave a Comment

An adorable story from this morning’s National Post:

SURREY, B.C. -Andrew Binns, five-year-old, took charge after his mom Shawna tumbled face-first down a flight of stairs, knocking herself unconscious. Andrew first called his father and then 911. That done, he prepared a bottle for his 23-month-old brother Ethan, to calm him down while they waited for paramedics to arrive. “You never know what your kids can do until thrown into that situation. I’m very proud of him,” Shawna said. “He tried to call my husband first. He didn’t answer, so he called 911.” Shawna had cracked her nose badly and was bleeding. Though not able to get up, she still heard a bit of the 911 call. “I guess they asked him where mommy was bleeding, and he said, ‘She’s bleeding on the carpet.’ “

Filed Under: All Posts Tagged With: Andrew Binns

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