Archives for 2010

During my recent trip across the border, I spent my time reading statistics (fun stuff) on reasons given for abortion. The majority of reasons, from financial to emotional, amounted to one answer: being unprepared for motherhood. Which started me thinking, when does motherhood begin?

My health insurance company answered this question as the moment of “active labour,” but for many of us, the answer still remains as elusive as defining the role itself.

When does one become a mother? Is it the moment of conception? The first time you hear your baby’s heart beat? When you hold your small miracle for the first time?

“I had my first maternal feeling driving home from the lab after having my pregnancy test. I was so excited and wanting to race home to share the news. I realized I was driving too fast and didn’t have my seat belt on. It was a strange feeling, but great!” – Leah, mother of 2 year old Ainsley

“My first son died when he was four months old. Mother’s day followed two months later and I remember feeling like a mother, but being fearful that no one else saw me that way. When all of the mothers were called up for a special blessing in church that day, everyone was urging me to step forward. It felt really good to be recognized as a mother.” – Amanda, mother to Adam, 3 year old Angela, and baby-to-be

“I think I was in shock during the whole pregnancy. I was excited about the baby, but just found it so hard to believe. They handed me the baby and I still didn’t feel connected right away. That night he was crying in the bassinet and I felt overwhelmed with emotions. After 9 months it finally sunk in, ‘I was a mommy!'” – Sally, mother to two year old Trey and 6 month old Abbey

For some women, motherhood may begin prior to conception, with fertility treatments, prenatal vitamins, decorating and shopping for baby. The very idea of a baby has changed these women physically and mentally towards motherhood. For others, motherhood may begin after adoption papers are signed and the baby is finally brought home. After conception, is it really something that can be avoided?

A quick column on child care.

I’m going to be writing a talk about the myths of what it means to be pro-life. If you have a favourite, please let me know. Things like “pro-lifers are all men” or “pro-lifers are all religious” or “religious people are all pro-life”–that kind of thing. Merci.

If you read this blog, you already knew about the link between abortion and subsequent preterm delivery. It’s information worth repeating.

So often in advocating for life we are left with the really hard cases. If I had a dime for every time I was asked about rape… But for me, anyway, the point is that when abuse occurs, abortion doesn’t make that go away, or act as a panacea. You’re still left with a terrible situation, one in which there are no easy solutions. This case highlights my point:

A former restaurant manager is expected to be jailed for sexually exploiting a 14-year-old employee he made pregnant three times. A provincial court Judge Mark Tyndale raised the spectre of a four-year jail term Monday for the 35-year-old Calgary resident who earlier pleaded guilty. According to an agreed statement of facts, the restaurant manager and the girl began a relationship that turned sexual by April 2007. She got pregnant twice within a year, first having an abortion and then suffering a miscarriage. After the abortion, she attempted suicide. The man was charged in June 2008 and released with a provision he not have any contact with the girl. He breached the condition by visiting the hospital the day his baby was born.

A young man without arms plays the piano on China’s Got Talent:

For people like me, there were only two options. One was to abandon all dreams, which would lead to a quick, hopeless death; the other was to struggle without arms to live an outstanding life,” he said.

Though not many of us will face the physical challenges he does, I still think the principle applies: “One was to abandon all dreams, which would lead to a quick, hopeless death; the other was to struggle with ______________ to live an outstanding life.” We can all fill in the blank with the thing we struggle most with.

As a side note, it appears there is no country in the world that does not have its own talent show now.

(h/t)

Couple executed over affair:

KUNDUZ, Afghanistan – A man and woman have been stoned to death in northern Afghanistan after being accused by the Taliban of having a love affair, a witness and an official said Monday.

The 23-year-old woman and 28-year-old man were killed because “they had an affair,” said Mohammad Ayob, the governor of Imam Sahib district in Kunduz province.

“Two people were stoned to death by Taliban in Mullah Quli village late yesterday,” he said. The village is under the control of the Taliban.

[…]

Under Islamic Sharia law, sex between unmarried people is punishable by public beatings, while punishment for those caught in extra-marital affairs is death by stoning.

Update: Well, actually, there’s worse… (warning: horrifyingly graphic image)

This journalist is looking for you. Here’s the message as it appears on Twitter:

Looking for parents who would have liked to have more children than they did, for one reason or another. Know anyone? #parenting #pregnancy

L’Actualité magazine (Maclean’s French-speaking sister publication) has a feature (not online yet, as far as I can tell) about the virtues of what they call “la vie en solo”, or solitary life. Here’s a quote, in the original French:

L’enfer, c’est les autres. Et le paradis, alors? Il se trouve au Québec, si l’on se fie aux données du dernier recensement de Statistique Canada. Menez votre propre enquête et allez cogner aux portes. Vous verrez que dans la Belle Province, près d’un ménage sur trois est composé d’une seule personne. Pas de coloc qui vide le carton de lait sans le remplacer. Pas de conjoint pour faire la morale quand on rentre passés les 12 coups de minuit. Pas d’adolescents [en réalité aucun enfant] pour transformer la salle de bains en zone sinistrée. Le bonheur !

Partout en Occident, de plus en plus de gens optent pour la vie en solo. Surtout dans les grandes villes. Et Montréal se classe parmi les capitales canadiennes du genre, avec 40 % des ménages qui ne comptent qu’une seule personne — surtout dans les quartiers centraux. Le Plateau-Mont-Royal [très bobo] fait figure de Mecque (53 % des ménages), talonné par Rosemont-La Petite-Patrie (47 %).

Québec (37 % de ménages solos), Trois-Rivières (35 %) et Rimouski (35 %) ont leur place au palmarès. À Toronto, seulement 30 % des logements sont habités par une seule personne. À Halifax, c’est 28 %, et à Calgary, 26 %. En fait, seule Vancouver rivalise avec Montréal, avec 38 % de ménages solos…

Throughout Quebec, close to one household in three is composed of one person. In Montreal, that number climbs to 40 per cent. In the famous Plateau Mont-Royal neighbourhood, it’s more than half. Is it any wonder we find a high tolerance for abortion in that province?

[h/t République de bananes]

It’s good to have solid facts, the numbers at your finger tips. Many thanks to the Ottawa-based Dr. René Leiva for getting this letter in the Lancet:

On the basis of data from Statistics Canada, in the 5 years before the legalisation of abortion in 1969, 44 women died as result of complications from illegal abortions. During the same period, however, 23 died of miscarriages. From the time abortion was legalised to 2005, 19 died of complications of legal abortions and 10 from miscarriages. Similar reductions were seen across all obstetric conditions. It can be safely concluded that the real cause of the maternal mortality reduction was the implementation of better medical care.

This goes back to the maternal health debate and how some people were very adamant that women in developing countries need abortions before they need clean surgical environments, basic medications and doctors. Right.