This reader wrote in with her personal story in response to my post about Tiller. She has given me permission to post it, anonymously.
Just wanted to share my experience. At [the hospital] where I was a patient, they promote prenatal testing and abortion. Both are always options they mention. When I found I was unexpectedly pregnant with my second child I was highly distressed (to put it mildly) as was my husband. My first pregnancy ended with a beautiful daughter but a horrific birth that left me with post traumatic stress. I had severe postpartum depression for over a year. I was physically and psychologically in terrible shape and didn’t plan any more children.
When I went to my doctor to begin prenatal care I was sobbing saying how terrified I was of having the same experience again. Over a year after the first birth I was still waking at night from nightmares. The resident refused to refer me to an OB for a C-section saying “There is no medical reason” for a referral. How ironic given that I was in psychiatric care and literally suicidal at the thought of giving birth again. I had told my husband I would wait until the end of my pregnancy and then stab myself to force an emergency C-section if I couldn’t have a planned one. I was not being dramatic, I literally would have rather died than give birth again.
I did not for a minute consider abortion but that was the first thing I was offered since my pregnancy was unplanned. Since I didn’t want an abortion no one wanted to help me. I had to return to the doctor repeatedly until I saw someone different who gave me the referral. Ironically, the OB told me I did have a medical reason beyond the obvious psychiatric reason. If I had a similar birth experience I would have stand a high risk of not healing a second time and facing lifelong problems.
I want to make a complaint about the practice for refusing me the referral but haven’t yet. Once abortion is on the table as an alternative people stop considering other more nuanced, non-violent, patient-centred approaches.
“Once abortion is on the table as an alternative people stop considering other more nuanced, non-violent, patient-centred approaches.” How true. Thank you to this reader for sharing her story.
by 
This story strikes me as so bizarre (I don’t doubt its veracity, just to clarify). I’m guessing the reader is not in the U.S., because here women have to fight tooth and nail to NOT get a C-section (especially if they’ve had a previous one). It is the rare U.S. OB who will deny an elective C-section to a patient for any reason whatsoever.
Anonymous, I hope your 2nd birth (if it has already occurred) went smoothly. If it hasn’t, I wish you all the best.
JoAnna, given my recent experiences in the hospital here in Victoria (after having spent most of my life in Seattle where I always went to one of the best hospitals in the US), unfortunately this story doesn’t surprise me at all. It’s very difficult to get doctors to listen or even take you seriously. Even pain management compared to the US is a joke. My husband ended up writing a very long detailed serious letter of complaint to the hospital about all the things that went wrong and how they need to fix them so this doesn’t happen to other people in the future. I hope that this woman (or her husband) can do the same thing and that the hospital will take them seriously.
Nobody knows if this story is true.People throughout the world are not told the truth that abortion on any stage of pregnancy is far less dangerous for woman’s health than pregnancy itself.Even if there are not any serious consequencies for a woman’s health because of accouchement,women often grow fat and lose their beauty and sexual attractiveness after an accouchement.those girls fall victims of anti-abortion propaganda.
But how many lives of men were broken because women who got pregnant from them refused to make abortion?Lots of men every year have to marry women just because women black-mail them with their pregnancy.How many families were destroyed and how many careers and reputations of men were destroyed because women who had sex with them refused to make abortion?Millions and millions throughout the world.How many women had sex with men purposely not using any contraceptives in order to “trap” them?Millions and millions across the world,in Russia,in the USA,in Canada and everywhere else.
Andrei Yudin,41 y.o.,Moscow.
I see Andrei is embarrassing himself again.
“…women often grow fat and lose their beauty and sexual attractiveness after an accouchement…”
LOL… some of the most attractive women I know are mothers. Aside from that, why should it matter to Andrei unless he is the sort of man who objectifies women. But then again, we already established that from his previous comments.
Regarding the whole entrapment thing… second time he brings this up… must be a real sore point for him, making me suspect that he is a victim of his own inability to think logically.
For the record, here is what a logical argument looks like:
Children are a natural outcome of sex. Contraception does not change that fact– it only modifies the probabilities, not the range of possible outcomes. Therefore, if you don’t want children, don’t have sex. Exactly the same logic for both sexes, and it’s so simple that maybe even Andrei can understand it.
Andrei, here’s a thought that might not have occurred to your sexist, chauvinistic brain… don’t “make sex” with ladies and then you won’t be entrapped when they won’t “make abortion”.
Yeah, abortion.. hows that working out for your nation btw? I heard you’re dying off and your government is desperate for women in your country to stop butchering your babies?
I am a little heavier than before I became a mom… and honestly, my husband seems to prefer my womanly curves more than the girlish figure I had when we married. Real men consider their wives fertility a turn on rather than a turn off. Boys like Andrei will never understand it and will live the rest of their pathetic lives alone.