Women still don’t know much about baby-making… That’s the conclusion I get from an otherwise very long and tediously non-judgmental article on egg freezing.
Women are born with a finite number of eggs. At birth a woman’s ovaries contain approximately one to two million oocytes — immature eggs; by puberty, the count drops to 400,000. During each menstrual cycle, about 1,000 oocytes begin to develop but only one becomes a mature egg. The others left behind die. Not only does the supply shrink but egg quality decreases over time as well, since the best eggs are used up when young, so that each egg now offers less chance of pregnancy and a higher risk of miscarriage.
By the time a woman reaches age 39, “there aren’t many (follicles) left that have got enough strength to raise their hand,” says Dr. Al Yuzpe, co-founder and co-director of the Genesis Fertility Centre of Vancouver.
“My usual response is, ‘You may not look 40, you may not feel 40 but your ovaries don’t know it,’ ” Yuzpe says. He frequently encounters women who had no idea of the limits of their fertility. “They’re not only shocked, they’re tearful, they’re angry. ‘Nobody told me that I wasn’t going to be able to get pregnant at 48.’ ”
I don’t expect everyone to know every detail about the production of eggs in female humans. And I speak as someone who knows fairly little, beyond the basics. But I always knew that if I waited too long, I wouldn’t be able to have children. What do you mean, nobody told you that you weren’t going to be able to get pregnant at 48? There’s not much point “educating” people who just won’t listen.
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There’s waiting and waiting.
What I dislike about these articles is that they so often include or inspire finger-wagging at naughty career woman, as if most men were DYING to have babies with them, right from the age of 19.
Many women choose to live patiently and chastely until they are married to have sex, let alone children. And if the men of their generation are not much interested in marriage, they are out of luck until the men get it together and decide now that they are 40, it’s time to get hitched. God knows how many young married women are on birth control who longs to have a baby, but can’t because their husbands keep saying they aren’t ready yet.
When I was 36 or so, and unmarried, one or two women with children hesitantly asked me if I’d ever consider just going out to a bar and getting knocked up. I said that that would not be very ethical. I found it significant that that was the only solution that they could think of.
It is absolute agony for a married, childless woman aged 39 to read yet another reminder of how out-of-date her eggs are, as if this were somehow her fault.
Oh, and what I remember from 1980s era health and religion classes, which included NFP instruction, NO-ONE talked about when you stop having babies. We were told about menopause, and given a vague timeframe of when that might e. But at no point were we told that we would be infertile BEFORE menopause. We were never told, “By the way, girls, just because you keep getting your period into your forties doesn’t mean you’ll still be capable of having babies.”
I keep hearing story after story of women (“my teacher”, “my cousin”, “my aunt” over 40 conceiving. People make kind remarks about me having children one day. My brother calls me because he reads between the lines and thinks I might be pregnant. And then I read articles in which men named Al talk about 39 year follicles not having the strength to raise their head. It’s enough to drive a Christian woman absolutely crazy.
Throw in a story about Elton John’s designer baby and you can just cart her away to the funny farm.
“It is absolute agony for a married, childless woman aged 39 to read yet another reminder of how out-of-date her eggs are, as if this were somehow her fault.”
Seraphic, I hear you. And yes, it would be very nice indeed to read one or two articles on fertility that actually acknowledge that pregnancy is not achieved independently.
I’ve always thought that more traditionally minded women are the real victims of our choice culture. Then someone much smarter than myself put that idea in print. (have you read Bitter Pill by Timothy Reichert? It’s summarized here:
http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/archive/ldn/2010/apr/10041510)
Anyways, yes, these articles are frustrating. But Christians have a trump card over this crazy culture and that is knowing that God sees us, is not surprised by our lives and knows better than we do. And so I leave it there. That’s not to say it won’t be painful from time to time, especially with articles like this one. Thanks for writing to remind us of that.