Here we go with another “Tyranny of mother’s milk” article. Listen here, I am not opposed in principle to formula. I have even fed it to my children. But I have several issues with rants such as this one, the first one being that hard cases make bad law. A mother felt that her breast milk was not sufficient to nourish her infant and some healthcare providers with inadequate or incomplete formation on breastfeeding made it worse. Can we really draw a public health conclusion about this? As someone who struggled through a similar challenge, I will tell you exactly what the problem was: inadequate follow-up by a nurse with inadequate formation. What we need is more research and information about the root causes of the inability to breastfeed (no, everything is not linked to a poor latch). As long as we have health care providers (whether they are doctors, nurses of nursing consultants) blaming everything on a poor latch, we’ll have situations like the one described in Wente’s article.
But that wouldn’t make a rant, would it? Much better to blame it on an evil patriarchal scheme to oppress women using their own children! Let me try to make something perfectly clear to those who hope that formula-feeding will liberate them from the tyranny of baby: human infants are needy and helpless. The well-meaning nurse who told you that formula-fed infants slept longer, she lied. If that makes infants oppressive, then so be it: human infants are oppressive. It’s not an evil scheme to oppress women, it’s just The Way Things Are. Unlike horses, our infants are not expected to stand-up and flee danger within their first hour of life. Why does liberation have to mean liberating ourselves from our own children? Why do we have to deny motherhood and the fact that we are able to respond to our infants’ needs to be liberated women? But mark my words – I have 6 children and I am expecting 2 more – if you think that formula-feeding will liberate you from your children, you are in for a big shock.
The other thing I would like to mention – and I choose my words carefully – is that healthcare providers, especially doctors, are in the business of making us feel guilty for our unhealthy choices. Read that again and think about it. Do you think that any OB/GYN worth his salt has a fleeting remorse about making a pregnant smoker feel guilty? And let’s not even approach the topic of overweight people, especially pregnant ones. Human milk is the best nutrition for human babies. You may choose not to breastfeed for a long list of reasons but it does not remove the fact that human milk is best for human babies. Once again, this is not an evil scheme to oppress women, it’s just The Way Things Are. Any doctor or nurse who pretends otherwise or avoids mentioning it for fear of triggering guilty feelings is not doing his job. I had to be transferred to hospital for complications following a home birth (baby was fine, I was not). Do you think the duty OB/GYN held back from lecturing me about the dangers of homebirths? Not for a second. Did I feel guilty? Yes. That was the whole point. We start our pregnancies avoiding everything from soft cheese to caffeine and once the baby is out, we’re supposed to avoid finding out that breast milk is better for them? Fight the tyranny, demand proper information!








If you know of an excellent lactation consultant, I’d love to hear about her. I gave up BFing before I was ready because I was overwhelmed with all of the conflicting information and my daughter was starving. I want to get on the right foot for next time.
Where’s the “like” button on this thing?!
Fortunately, my Lamaze class in the US was very informative and very open to both options of formula feeding and breast feeding. I chose breastfeeding because of the many health benefits I was told about, even though no other woman in my family had ever done it. And no, it wasn’t easy at first, but it gets easier with experience and overcoming the “I’m getting my boob out in public” fear. It’s what they’re for, and I’m a big fan of things doing what they’re made to do.
I’ll also just add, that traveling with my kids at very young ages… I can’t imagine having to sterilize bottles and heat water while waiting two hours on a motionless Boeing. Nursing was much more flight friendly. Oh yes, and I didn’t actually have to “get up” for the countless night feedings either. There are pros and cons to both but having a baby, no no, I’ll go even further, getting pregnant is NEVER not going to change your life.
PS. Congratulations on the new additions! And yes, I will need a copy of your handbook on all things motherly.
Julie D., if you happen to live in Ottawa, I recommend Lana Matthews. I hired her almost 13 years ago and she was very good. It appears she is still practicing. Here is a page of contact info for LCs:
http://www.ovlc.net/findAnIBCLC.html
The main thing to do is not to be inflexible and dogmatic about it all. I wanted to breastfeed with baby #1, but baby was losing weight, so I added 2 ounces of formula after each feeding. Baby gained weight and I breastfed her for a full year. Baby 2 was fine with breast milk except for the 5 pm feeding, so added 2 oz of formula at the end of that feeding. Breastfed him for 15 months. (Are boys harder to wean than girls?)
Keep in mind that breastfeeding is all about feeding baby, not all about you, and that it is possible to use both nature and formula to achieve all the benefits.
I know it’s been years since your post but as a lactation consultant I say kudos to you. It IS ABOUT NOURISHING YOUR CHILD! One of the! most important lessons form motherhood IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU! And if your support system doesn’t understand that it’s time to find a new support system! I was unable to breastfeed my 3rd child after successfully breastfeeding by first 2. It was a shock but after my baby suffered the diagnosis and hospitalization of “failure to thrive” I decided quickly to nourish him with formula. He is my only child to graduate from YALE. Such a smart successful young man. I totally support the mom who is wanting to breast feed but not at the risk of her child! I will do anything to help and support you, and it can be so difficult with your first, but nourishing your baby is paramount! The same women who would state proudly that they are pro choice will shame you until you breast feed to the detriment of yourself and your baby. Stand proud mommy who nourishes your child whatever your choice —breast or bottle—you are your child’s MOTHER! NEVER, EVER, abdicate that role and what your heart knows is best! WOMAN STRONG!!!!!!! BABY STRONG!!!!!!
Love this post, Véronique! Breastfeeding is best, but women need a lot of support and they need to know the facts.
I found in my prenatal classes – I had the opposite problem. Everyone explained all the reasons that it is easier to nurse, such as not having to always have formula on hand, being able to go to the beach with the baby, etc. However, not once was I ever warned that during the first 6 weeks there are days when you will feel like you are nursing 24 hrs per day. During a growth spurt with a newborn, that is (to borrow your phrase) THE WAY THINGS ARE. Because neither my mother or mother-in-law nursed, they were very freaked out during this phase and often encouraged me to get formula. I stuck with it and have a very supportive husband and am very thankful I did. Once you get over that hump, nursing is WAY EASIER. Especially if you start them on pumped bottles at 6 weeks so you can go out, etc.
And re: sleeping. My girl was sleeping through the night reliably at 3 mo. and sporadically basically from day one (defined as 7 hrs continuous). I know people with formula fed babies who did not sleep through the night until age 1.
Colic is also much more unlikely with breastmilk…and there is no more oppressive baby than one with colic!
Now I am the one ranting! Julie D., if you are on PEI there is a wonderful lactation consultant at the QEH named Rosemary.
I think the message to women should be silimar to the prowoman, prolife message. Yes, childbirth/nursing are very difficult however it is also very EMPOWERING. I cannot recall every feeling more pride than in my chubby little baby nourished solely by my efforts. You feel immensely proud of every little leg roll 🙂
Infant formula is necessary for some parts of the third world where there are high HIV/AIDS rates. Breast feeding is ideal