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You are here: Home / All Posts / Geez, mom, thanks

Geez, mom, thanks

January 22, 2009 by Brigitte Pellerin 4 Comments

I realize we live in a world where nothing is supposed to be taboo. But this is ridiculous:

Shelley Price can’t stop the tears from falling as she makes her startling confession.

[…]

Shelley is about to admit to one of the great taboos of motherhood. No matter how hard she has tried, she says she can’t bring herself to love her elder daughter, Catherine.

‘I know what people will think. Everyone will hate me. I’m the woman who doesn’t like her own child. But I’m speaking out because I’m convinced I’m not alone,’ says the 33-year-old.

‘I hate myself for the way I feel, but whatever it is that makes a mum want to hug and kiss her child, I have not felt it. Catherine has always felt like someone else’s daughter.’

I don’t know what it’s like to have a daughter you don’t even like. But you’re, at least technically, an adult and she’s not. For the sake of that child, could you please get a grip, do your best, and shut up?

_________________________

Rebecca adds: “‘I whisper: ‘I’m so sorry for the way I’ve been with you.’ But I know I can’t help the way I feel. I can’t turn on my feelings like a tap.”

And here we have the therapeutic culture bearing its toxic and self-indulgent fruit.

No, you can’t turn on feelings like a tap. But you can control your actions. You can choose to meet a child’s needs, which include a need for affection and warmth and cuddles, regardless of what you’re feeling inside. Daycare workers, who may well be very fond of the children they care for but certainly don’t love them the way their mothers do, provide cuddles and smiles and happy interactions all the time with their charges.

Horrifying.

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Comments

  1. Janette says

    January 22, 2009 at 10:54 am

    I cannot understand why she did not aggressively pursue therapy. I could understand if she sought all the medical resources and support available and proactively strived, with professional guidance, to parent her daughter. But instead she seems to keep falling back on the “I can’t help it” excuse. When there is a child’s well-being at stake, the “what about me and my feelings?” line is dreadfully insufficient.

    Reply
  2. Meghan says

    January 22, 2009 at 11:36 am

    I love this:

    “I can’t change the past, but I’m hoping we can make our relationship better. I want to put it right, but perhaps it’s too late for that.”

    Wow, do you think? The LEAST this cold woman could have done was have this article published anonymously, or have her name changed. Talk about screwing up your child for life! Her selfishness has been confirmed and perpetuated by using this article as a “cry for help,” thus putting her daughter in the line of fire for ridicule and a virtually non-existent sense of self-esteem for LIFE. How does she even consider that it’s not too late when she announces to the world: “Now I wonder if I shouldn’t have gone through with it,” and “I can’t think of a single moment in Catherine’s life that has made me feel like a proud mother.”

    Way to go, Shelley.

    Reply
  3. SarahB says

    January 22, 2009 at 2:13 pm

    I’m willing to believe that a condition like this is probably more common than people realize and it may be worth drawing attention to–but dragging this little girl’s full name and photo into it? If we can’t count on the mother to protect her daughter, couldn’t the Daily Mail have summoned up a little good judgment and kept it anonymous?

    And that bit about being too young at “just” 22 doesn’t wash. I’ve known several women who had babies in their teens who are utterly devoted to their children. Whatever other factors may be at work, that’s a lousy excuse.

    I’m going to go hug my children now…

    Reply
  4. MariaElena says

    February 1, 2009 at 6:07 pm

    This is for Mom.
    I was distant from my daughter. I know it was a matter of jealousy because her father adored and spoiled her and she tortured her brother and got him in trouble a lot. I felt cold towards her and realized it was MY problem and there was something very wrong about a mother feeling this way toward her child. I became aware of this chasm when she was 11 years old and thought “this is the way it is, it’s a pity, but it is what it is.” Soon afterwards, however I decided to put a stop to it. It wasn’t okay to feel this way about my child! I bought a kit for planting flowers and gave it to her as a project that we could do together (to draw us closer.) We got our hands dirty in the soil, carefully placed the seeds within and excitedly waited for the first signs of life. Every morning we checked. We were so excited. By nurturing the plant, we were nurturing a relationship. Our love for each other bloomed larger and lovelier than any flower could have. She is now 23 and my very best friend. It’s good to bring up problems and realize you are not alone, but in so doing, you need to protect your child. I’m not qualified to write this as I did not read the whole article, but was moved to share this with you. God bless you and your daughter, His gift to you.

    Reply

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