That’s the not-so-subtle message of this ad. I could rant about this all day long, instead, just watch for yourself:
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdSmXKRqFHM]
“You know what you want today. But you never know what you might want for tomorrow.” For so many women what they want tomorrow is children. Only the birth control pill helps them delay and delay until it’s too late. Thanks, Beyaz. And it’s not just those of us who hate the Pill who don’t like this ad. I guess I shouldn’t expect any different. I had not watched TV for a long time before I tuned in and caught…this. Guess it’s back to reading for me.
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Christy says
I think it interesting that the ad positions finding a significant other and buying a home as opposed to having children. I thought those things used to be lumped together as things that a person could have all three of, perhaps in a certain order, but still, have all three.
We should shape a world where people can afford to buy a house and have children. We shouldn’t have to choose between them, and the fact that people feel they have to suggests we need to look at our economic policies. We need to question the inequality. In the 70s and 80s CEOs made just 20 – 25 times what the average worker does, and now they earn 175 times the amount. We don’t need this inequality. It isn’t healthy. We need to help make life more affordable for the average person, so they don’t have to choose between children and a house.
As for finding a significant other….? Why is that so much harder for so many people? Why do so many people spend most or all of their reproductive years searching for the right person? (So much so that by the time people find the right people many of them discover they’re not fertile.) We have really ineffective courting rituals here or something.
Penny says
“For so many women what they want tomorrow is children. Only the birth control pill helps them delay and delay until it’s too late. Thanks, Beyaz”
What does this even mean? If a woman is on the birth control pill and wants to have children, she can go off the pill. If she doesn’t want children she can continue to be on the pill.
And yes it is more difficult to go to Paris with a new born than before you have kids, I don’t think many will dispute that.
I think you should have ranted all day long about this because I don’t see the problem.
@Christy: didn’t consider that angle, certainly agree re: the way ever-increasing gap between the rich and poor!
Dan says
@Penny: “What does this even mean?”
This means exactly what it says: the pill helps people give in to the human tendency to procrastinate. In many cases, they procrastinate until it is too late. I know many who are in this position. It’s not that the pill is necessary for procrastination, but it sure makes procrastination easier. Enough to bring our total fertility rate well below replacement levels.
Suricou Raven says
Penny: What it means is, unfortunatly, what it appears to mean. As best I can tell, Andrea is arguing that women should get pregnant unintentionally and without planning – because if they arn’t forced to bear children young in such a manner, they will only end up continually waiting until the time when they are in the proper economic position, by which time their fertility is declining due to age.
Andrea is actually arguing that unplanned pregnancy is a *good* thing for the women involved, but is just avoiding stateing this directly.
Katherine says
I was watching television with my 17 year-old daughter when this commercial aired. She turned to me and said, “It sounds like they’re saying B.S.” I replied, “That’s exactly what it is.”
She’s off to university in September and will be assaulted by ads for The Pill and Plan B every time she walks into a washroom. It’s maddening.
Andrea Mrozek says
Christy: I’d venture to say we have ineffective courting rituals *because* we have the Pill. Men used to be motivated to court a woman because they wanted to get sex, eventually, and this wasn’t allowed in casual dating relationships. Today, by and large, sex happens any time, any place. It has completely distorted the dating economy such that men are convinced they need never settle down. Women come out with the short end of the stick because women are more geared toward wanting (permanent) love and commitment, which is not something men are not super inclined to give. Now so many men decide they don’t actually need to because they are getting sex at a low price–women don’t demand too much before they offer a lot.
The Pill is chiefly responsible for this. Women used to be more discerning about who they slept with, because they knew they didn’t want to have a baby with just anybody.
The many myriad ways in which the Pill has distorted healthy relationships is not at all easy to summarize, but that’s my start for tonight.
Andrea Mrozek says
Suricou: That’s not at all what I’m saying. I’m saying a woman should plan to get pregnant with the man she married because he loves her with a love and commitment that will last a lifetime. I’m saying that if avoiding pregnancy is the chief goal of your sexual relationship, perhaps you shouldn’t be in it. I’m saying that so much of life cannot be planned so conduct yourself ethically and with integrity, and plan a trip to Paris if you want to, or don’t, but don’t rely on a tiny, daily Pill to provide happiness. Finally, I’m saying be prepared for even the best laid plans to go to waste: what if the destination was Tokyo and then the earthquake hit? Be prepared, is what I’m saying. Be smart. And have sex only with someone who truly loves you and won’t be shocked, astounded and alarmed if you do get pregnant, which last I checked was a perfectly natural outcome of having sex. I’m confident that this is the case with marriage. I’m not confident about that in any other circumstance and sorry for you, the Highly Scientific Stats you love so much are with me on this one.
Dan says
Good points, Andrea. It’s not just delaying getting pregnant, in many cases it’s delaying the formation of the kind of relationship in which one would even want to get pregnant.
Julie says
“But you never know what you might want for tomorrow.”
Which is why you should avoid The Pill if you think you might want to have children in the future. It will be hard enough to get pregnant when you are getting up in age, you don’t need years of drugs altering your body chemistry to make it even harder for you.
Briana says
This commercial exemplifies the “consumer mentality” taken to its end. What I find interesting is that the make it seem like having a baby is like purchasing a product, sort of like you buy birth control. “Oh when ever you are ready just come and pick up the one the you like best” and this can be referring to the baby or the significant other- is that how we should be thinking of people, as consumables? It is incredibly sexist to that the women are shopping and that the women then want that same man-doll, really we are still those ladies? I am not sure how I could swallow this as being a freedom for women when really all it reiterates is the same tired, old stereotypes. We shouldn’t try and commercialize these great events in our lives, when we give love to others. And I feel that there should be something more serendipitous about it, not like a trip to the mall. I don’t look at my significant other and think that I shopped for them, I fell in love with them. It makes humans cheap, creates extreme individualistic and kills the notion of unconditional love.
Wagner says
“I’m saying that if avoiding pregnancy is the chief goal of your sexual relationship,”
It was the goal of my “marriage” to avoid pregnancy. We did not want children, and I was forced to rely on hormonal bc and barrier methods for TEN years before I could get a tubal ligation. Those of us who are childless by choice shouldn’t be doubted and discounted by the ob/gyn medical community. That tubal should have been provided WHEN I asked for it, not ten years down the road. Voluntarily childless couples are a very small percentage of the population and should be taken seriously when they want to take responsible steps to prevent conception without harming their health with chemicals. In our case, it ISN’T about abortion. It’s about being treated fairly and with respect by the reproductive health community.
“creates extreme individualistic and kills the notion of unconditional love.”
My strong sense of individualism is as much a part of my biology as my eye color is. I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t that way. My husband and I, married for 26 years now, have the unconditional love thing down pat. Our devotion is deep and indescribable. It doesn’t take children to make a family, or make a devoted, loving unit. You can’t imagine my inner life anymore than I can imagine yours. But, I don’t need to understand what yours is like. The fact that my life is much more sweet than bitter is enough for me.