It’s a wonderful life

It’s Christmas—I’m sure many of you have noticed. And with Christmas comes…worry and depression. There’s something about Christmas that leaves many struggling with the juxtaposition of real life with the supposedly perfect life commercials and movies present.

Below we have the story of one woman, who almost had an abortion.

I thought now might be a good moment to post her story for those women struggling because life does not feel wonderful—and Christmas only highlights that more for them.

I do love the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life”—between the beginning and the end, however, each moment if captured on its own wouldn’t actually seem wonderful. George Bailey doesn’t get to travel, he doesn’t get to start his own business—he hates the Building and Loan. It’s only in the long term context—in a bigger, broader context—that it looks wonderful in the end.

Here’s Rachael DeBruin’s story:

It was my first year of university and things were not going so well between my boyfriend and I. We decided since I was moving away to school we should end the relationship.  However, not long after, we ended up back together and he started coming to stay overnight at my residence most weekends. The relationship had more up and downs than a roller coaster. It began to seem acceptable to treat each other poorly. We were both drinking and doing drugs. The emotional abuse and control was escalating between us. Still somehow I thought we might end up getting married someday so I justified being intimate with him and not being overly cautious.

When I first went to the university clinic I thought I had contracted some sort of weird virus. I was nauseous and tired for most of the day. I could barely concentrate on my studies and I didn’t want to eat. I was losing weight. Someone that worked at the clinic came and told me I had tested positive on the pregnancy test (that was standard procedure with inexplicable “bugs”).

I was in complete shock. The lady sensed that this was not a planned pregnancy and gave me some info about having an abortion. She also booked me for an ultrasound to see how far along I was. It turned out it had been about two months since my last period.

Within the next few weeks my life was a blur. My boyfriend told me that in no uncertain terms he wanted me to get rid of the baby or our relationship was over.  My mother agreed that this was not the time or the person to have a baby with. I was beginning to make plans to go ahead and have an abortion.

In the midst of this I did not have complete peace. I had a terrible nightmare the night before I was scheduled to go “take care” of things. Coincidentally, that night, some friends called and consoled me about the turmoil in my life. I began to feel that even though it seemed most people in my life were not supportive of my decision that I should keep the baby. If, I thought to myself, I could not handle the baby I could give him/her over to adoption.

I did not go to the clinic to have an abortion and when my boyfriend found out he rejected me and the baby. The next few months of the pregnancy were filled with shame and questions in my mind wondering if I had made the right decision. However, I was fortunate enough to have my parents accept this unborn child later after they grew accustomed to the idea of my pregnancy.

I ended up having a beautiful son. Unfortunately I was very overwhelmed in the first few months of being a single mother that I entered another unhealthy relationship and got pregnant again a mere seven months later.

At this point I hit rock bottom. I started to go back to church. I ended up returning to my faith in Jesus Christ at this time. I stayed single for a few years while I finished my university degree. And to finish the pieces of the puzzle I met my husband, got married and now have 2 more wonderful children. I never regret having decided to give both of my “unplanned” children a chance at life.  I am truly thankful for the people in my life who showed up in my life at that pivotal moment when I possibly could have made the decision to have an abortion. The most influential friends were from my church family who are still willing to love and support me as I am continuing to grow as a person. I am thankful for people out there who are willing to recognize the worth of unborn children and encourage others to do so as well.

I strongly believe that no situation is so dark that something can not be redeemed from it, given the time and opportunity to do so.

___________________________

Tanya takes a moment to reflect: This touching story sent me thinking about all the people in my life (including myself) who were perfect candidates to be aborted. We were conceived in the midst of chaos and/or uncertainty. I think of my mother, my siblings, my own daughter, and numerous others.

You know, for all the “I regret my abortion” you hear, there sure isn’t very much “I wish I’d had an abortion.” Instead, we hear stories like this woman’s. “I never regret having decided to give both of my ‘unplanned’ children a chance at life.”

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