Your dating culture on campus, courtesy of the Pill. There’s so much I could say about this article but I’ll limit this comment to a short reflection on how the Pill changed our world, drastically and dramatically. Not too long ago (should have realized this earlier) I began to realize that the sexual revolution is not mythical. And one effect is apparently the loss of romance.
At 11 on a weeknight earlier this year, her work finished, a slim, pretty junior at the University of Pennsylvania did what she often does when she has a little free time. She texted her regular hookup — the guy she is sleeping with but not dating. What was he up to? He texted back: Come over. So she did. They watched a little TV, had sex and went to sleep. A generation of women faces broad opportunities and great pressures, both of which help shape their views on sex and relationships. Their relationship, she noted, is not about the meeting of two souls. “We don’t really like each other in person, sober,” she said, adding that “we literally can’t sit down and have coffee.” … “I’m a true feminist,” she added. “I’m a strong woman. I know what I want.” At the same time, she didn’t want the number of people she had slept with printed, and she said it was important to her to keep her sexual life separate from her image as a leader at Penn. “Ten years from now, no one will remember — I will not remember — who I have slept with,” A. said. “But I will remember, like, my transcript, because it’s still there. I will remember what I did. I will remember my accomplishments and places my name is hung on campus.”
Since these girls are completely unencumbered from pregnancy concerns (though not STIs, as rising rates of those will attest) they can have casual sex and worry about the really, really important things in life. Like getting a good transcript. Don’t we all just sit back so very often with a glass of fine wine and reflect on that critical piece of paper?
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How these gals think they are going to be able to bond to a man, ever, for the purpose of marriage and procreation is beyond me. They are self-sabotaging their future for what? No pleasure. Scratching an itch they think they might have? Some kind of obligatory sense that they think they need to have sex because the outside culture says so? Conformists, all of them, with nary a brain in their heads.
People do what they want which is not the same thing as doing what is good for themselves. Reminiscent of past times where people claimed to be wise but their thinking became futile, their foolish hearts were darkened and they lived a lie degrading their bodies. But, ‘Who cares?’. What matters is a transcript is valued by important people. Sort of like an old childhood game of ‘Let’s pretend’.
“Conformists, all of them.” Indeed. Part of what bothers me (a lot bothers me in this article!) is that they don’t see themselves as such.
Ah yes Andrea; “Be true to one’s self; ‘Everyone wear Nikes!'”.
Seems to me this gets back to that; ‘What is ‘freedom’?
The inadequacy, nay bankruptcy, of freedom as defined as doing what one wants whenever one wants seems to lead to, on the one hand, conflict with time and matter and on the other, slavery, as in; ‘I define myself in/by what I (must) do.’.
Alternatively, ‘freedom’ as seen as being what one is, ontologically speaking, is ‘free’ from external constraints or inadequate effort as one is who one is regardless of choice or effort – ‘grace’. This is not to say that being free is an experience wherein one does nothing but rather being free is living.
P.S. I can appreciate this might seem in need of further discussion. Sincerely, David.
Freedom is according to the individual. According to the definition a person lives by, certain rewards will accrue, while other rewards will not. For Linda Gibbons, freedom is the right to protest outside abortion sites. Her conscience will be lighter because she gave her today, that others can have their tomorrow.
Honesty is important, as is love. Physical intimacy provokes, I heard, statements like, “I love you.” If they can’t sit and share a few minutes of conversation over coffee, then those affectionate statements, “I love you” are lies. Believing lies is dangerous because everyone will one day need help from a person truly committed to their well-being.
The oxytocin is telling the woman, “relax and connect”. The “connect” part will likely come back to haunt her. For instance, for a seventy year old woman, a new house or a new flashy new car are no big deal. What has true value is a visit from her children and grandchildren. This woman will at that point miss out.
A mother of six, by her efforts and dedication to her children, will still be contributing to the economy long after her passing, through her children’s and grandchildren’s participation in the economy. This woman will stop contributing to the economy the day she retires. Who will contribute to her pension fund, or will she not retire?