This blog on women’s issues isn’t one I agree with a whole lot, but by asking if women are less happy when they wear less clothes, I think they’re on to something. I’m not sure that anorexia, bulimia and low self-esteem exist because models are thinner than a generation ago, though. Sure, there are women thinner and more beautiful than any of us out there (unless, apparently, you’re Megan Fox – but there are people out there who are smarter, richer, healthier, or better at karate than all of us, too, and the fact of their existence doesn’t drive us to despair, let alone mental illness.
The Jewish conception of modesty is, like all things Jewish, complicated, occasionally hard to understand and sometimes downright weird. (Gefilte fish, I’m looking at you.) But the basic concept of physical modesty, which applies to men too, is that we cover our bodies because they are sacred and not for public enjoyment, and is often expressed by the phrase “The glory of the king’s daughter is within.” What this means is that the things that matter – virtue, kindness, honesty, integrity, courage, humility – aren’t what show on the outside; inner beauty, in other words, however trite that phrase has become.
I think what’s really pernicious about our culture’s obsession with mostly naked women, however beautiful or thin they are, is the message that it sends about worth. “You’re worthless unless you’re thin” is the lesson some people take from it, sure, but it’s also a message that we publicly talk about and deconstruct. “Your value and your identity resides in your physical body” is the less obvious but no less pervasive message they convey. And when desirability as a friend or wife is also bound up in prettiness, it reinforces that message. If I had a daughter, I wouldn’t worry so much about magazine covers that say “you should look like Angelina/Kate Moss/Lindsay Lohan” as about the broader message that “all that matters is how you look.”
Certainly, you can dress scrupulously modestly and still be shallow. And you can insist on modest clothing for your chidlren without valuing their character and moral code. But as Wendy Shalit points out, by striving for a certain modesty in our dress and behaviour, we have the opportunity not only to say “I’m not on public display” but also “I will not be judged by your criteria.” Which is actually the sort of subversive, iconoclastic sentiment feminists celebrate. Right?








It’s funny that you should add this today. I spent today with many young teenagers watching a football game, and the way that students were dressed was quite an eye opener for me. These poor kids are… learning from each other that their worth (in the eyes of the opposite sex) is found solely in the skin they expose and how they physically mesmerize the other. We know that low cut shirts are distracting for men, and really barechested men are the same for women. (though quite frankly, some of those guys with the tight pants could have faked it with a few less socks to make it more believable). Both seem to present themselves in such a way that the less obvious characteristics are well, less obvious. And that is unfortunate for their relationships with each other and their own emotional self-conception. It’s a shame for both the men and the women in this culture.
What I find hard to understand is that there now seem to be many girls who have lots of rolls and they expose those with tight fitting clothes and skimpy clothes. Why the lack of reticence about these less-than-perfect bodies? and I mean far from less-than-perfect. It seems that everyone is just letting everything all hang out, and it sure ain’t pretty.
I also wonder why girls are fattening up the way they do these days? they look different than when I was that age. Is it the pill that is making them carry weight where they do? large tummies, and several rolls in the middle, that is a new body look.
Julie, I wouldn’t blame the pill for most of the chubbiness out there. I can’t speak for Canada, but here in the USA, we’re basically just getting fatter. High-calorie diets that are high in starch and sugars (particularly corn-syrup) are largely to blame. Partly as a result of those diets (and perhaps also because of the artificial hormones in meat) girls are reaching puberty at younger and younger ages so we’re seeing very young girls who are both chubby AND curvy. On top of all that, it’s becoming more socially acceptable to be fat.
All of which is sort of ironic as girls of my generation were warned constantly about the dangers of being too thin. In one respect, I rather like that chubby girls don’t feel the need to hide themselves completely. On the other hand I agree that, fat or thin, it can go too far.
Sarah is right. The UK is seeing a similar effect, though lagging some years beind the US still. Between the low-exercise lifestyle that’s now very common and an extremally energy-rich diet loaded with sugar and fat, it doesn’t take a nutritionist to realise that people are going to put on weight.
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