Ms. Stephanie Gray did a lot of typing this morning in an online exchange on CBC. I personally think she fielded a number of tough questions brilliantly. All her answers are worth reading. I think the last question was particularly tough:
If I (a 24 year old woman) stood infront of you and told you I have had an abortion and I do not regret it, what would you say to me?
Stephanie’s answer:
I would say I am sorry for your loss. I realize no one can make you feel something; you either feel a feeling or you don’t. I’m sorry you don’t feel regret, but if you ever do, know that there are women like you who have had abortions, and in their cases, when they regretted it, they sought counselling and found healing. They realize they cannot undo the past, but they can do in the present moment what they wish they’d done in the past. And so, these women now actively seek out ways to educate the culture and save other pre-born children from the deaths their own children faced. They have redeemed a horrible situation and they are proof that there is hope. All of us make mistakes. The question is not what HAVE we done. The question is, what ARE we going to do from here on in? We can make the future better by learning from the past.
That’s a pretty good spur-of-the-moment answer. I’ve noted that for those women I know who feel regret after an abortion, most (not all) of them are older. At least a decade has past since their abortion, maybe longer. I think those women who have had abortions yesterday are perhaps more likely to be living out the “relief” of it all. That makes sense to me, anyway, when I consider myself at 24.
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Nicola says
Round about the time they start trying for a planned pregnancy I would guess. How much cognitive dissonance do you have to deal with to NOT regret your abortion whilst carrying and giving birth to a baby you planned?
Reminds me of the end of Casablanca when Humphrey Bogart is telling Ingrid Bergman why she has to stay with her marriage. Because she has to live with herself and eventually if she betrays Victor she will regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But some time.
I love that film.
David says
Rational and reasoned responses by Stephanie. Becoming confused by facts is a an opportunity to review one’s presuppositions.
Faye Sonier says
Stephanie did an amazing job.