I was inclined to ignore this 40 Good Reasons Not to Have Children, because none of the reasons were good. (And if it was meant to be funny, it wasn’t that either.)
But I kind of like this 40 Reasons to Have Children. There are many I would add. My niece is a walking comedian and she doesn’t know it. She spots things even at a distance that I wouldn’t otherwise see. She laughs heartily at, well, sometimes we aren’t sure what, but she has inherited a healthy Mrozek laugh. She’s two and she can sing the entire “Angels We Have Heard on High”–in July. (Yes, including the Glorias, up and down the scales.) Anyhoo. Have kids or don’t. But I tend to think the type of woman who writes up 40 sad reasons not to, including “Rat race plus rugrats: No thanks!” is probably just a bit boring–someone who is unprepared for adventure. (Unless you think the long elevator ride up to your office is one.)
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Véronique adds: Oh my. I too liked the 40 reasons to have children better. In fact, as I write, my 12 year-old on is bugging me to configure my new iPhone. Here son, knock yourself out.
I also have a couple of my own good reasons: The moment they put your newborn on your chest right after you’ve given birth. Children look much better than you do but you get all the compliments. Teenage daughters who bake. You loose “friends” when you have children. You make new friends. Real ones. With children, you have no trouble sleeping (when you get to sleep). Children make family parties more fun. When they don’t, they give you an excuse to leave early. Children force you to share dessert and that’s good for you. It is! Children force you to share and that’s also good for you. Finally, children force you to get off your butt and do something.
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Best ever children do that screeching laugh thing. I can throw my nephew into the air over and over until he gets a big smile on his face and his laugh is the biggest loudest laugh in the world. Priceless.
Or last weekend I was visiting my parents who live at the end of a cul-de-sac where lots of children live. Where I live, I’m woken up by a train every morning (kind of alarming, really). When I was at my parents’, I was woken up by laughing yelling children every morning. When I mentioned it to their parents Saturday evening at the cul-de-sac BBQ, they were worried at first, but I quickly assured them that waking up to the sound of happy children is the BEST way to wake up! How can you not love that?
“40 GOOD reasons…”? I think it’s odd that some of her reasons to NOT have kids aren’t really “reasons” at all:
23. The family: A horror
29. Get used to it: School is boot camp
37. Danger, child ahead
These don’t even make sense! Maybe she should spend her childless life going back to school to learn how to craft complete sentences…and how to inject humour properly into an editorial. :oS
Angels We Have Heard on High? Used to sing that in school, at the christmas event… but the teacher mispronounced the latin part horribly, and all the students copied her :>
Those who object to the secularisation of schooling may be interested to note that there was much singing of hymns for me in primary school, and I still grow up aquire a very strong dislike of all things religious.
Hmmm, I think I am on a different page than this woman altogether because I got to #14 and felt like my head was going to explode. I didn’t realise capitalism = evil.
I think you are overanalysing this list. It’s supposed to be funny. It isn’t funny, but it’s supposed to be. You can’t just pick it apart and analyse the validity of every work as if it were a schoolerly dissertation.
Rebecca, I believe the intended meaning might be more along the lines of ‘Kids will demand you buy expensive toys.’
I honestly believe that if you are the type of person who can say, with a straight face, that you “hate kids” or that you would never desire a family, you are NOT a “good” person. Because if you can honestly scoff at a laughing child’s smile, or dismiss the little, subtle joys children can bring you, you reveal yourself to be a selfish individual who cannot see past the importance of your own personal gain. (Keep in mind I’m not saying all women MUST be mothers, but rather the desire for motherhood is ultimately a noble and natural desire)
I’m so glad you liked my list of 40 Reasons to Have Children. I openly acknowledge that it’s very inadequate. I wrote it late Sunday night while waiting for my husband to go to bed. It was really ‘of the moment’. They also didn’t print a little blurb at the end of my letter stating that I found I didn’t need to (couldn’t) stop at 40. It would be fun to hear other peoples additions. I’ve enjoyed the ones above. It’s true kids laughs are the best – and contagious.
Cathy, it may have been ‘of the moment’ but it’s pretty easy to come up with reasons to have children, so it makes perfect sense! I don’t even have any children yet (though my husband is plotting and planning some sort of ‘army of darkness’ or something like that), it’s so easy to see and experience what a delight and joy children are, and what a value they are to society.
It would also be fairly easy to think of perfectly valid reasons NOT to have children. It’s just that she didn’t cite any.
Polluting the gene pool? Hahahahah
“Because if you can honestly scoff at a laughing child’s smile, or dismiss the little, subtle joys children can bring you, you reveal yourself to be a selfish individual who cannot see past the importance of your own personal gain.”
That’s me. I’m so selfish, I’ve got a little gold-colored plastic card on my shelf that says I’m a regular blood donor.
I still can’t stand children. Messy, immature and annoying – all they are good for is growing into something more tolerable.
Of course children are messy, immature and annoying. To be perfectly honest, I have very limited patience for most of my friends’ progeny. In fact, a recent — and highly reliable — Facebook quizz revealed that I would have only 1 child. So I relate.
That being said, I think that having children has forced me to rise above my character flaws, most notably my complete and utter lack of patience and tolerance for chaos. In that, I believe that having children has made me a better, more mature person.
But that’s just me.