Now that I have your attention, I’m not talking about a concerted effort to censor me/us by nefarious powers that be.
I’m talking about the censorship I do to myself.
This morning I ran into a reader of PWPL in the drugstore checkout. We had a nice chat. She shared that she is going to be retiring and is going to do more work on “these issues.” She then said “I don’t feel comfortable saying that word out loud!” I agreed that sometimes I struggle with the same thing.
Self-censorship: We are our own worst enemies. Why wouldn’t you mention the A word? Why not ask questions? Why not be up front about the work we do “on these issues”?
A tangent: I was recently out on a gelato date. One of the flavours is called “Sexy Chocolate.” “Sexy Chocolate” is just plain ole’ chocolate, in case you are wondering. After eating “Sexy Chocolate” absolutely nothing about me had changed. Except possibly my weight. It’s disappointing, to be frank. People, if I order “Sexy Chocolate” I want some sort of outcome guarantee.
Anyhoo, when I’m in that store (not too terribly often; please reference point A about the weight change) I always feel it is slightly pathetic that we feel we must add this descriptor (“Sexy!”) to just about everything. It’s an ice cream shop, for crying out loud.
And the lady serving the “Sexy Chocolate” described right there how a child had kind of stumbled over the word “sexy” in making the same order recently.This piqued my interest.
The immediate question to pop into my mind was “Why are you making a child order sexy chocolate?” Do they not expect children in their ice cream shop? Or is “sexy” just a standard, run-of-the-mill word, to be learned early? As in “See Sexy Spot Run.”
However, I self-censored and didn’t say anything.
I continue to challenge myself to stop doing that and I challenge you to do the same. My goal here isn’t to be annoying, but rather to be honest with myself on how I am feeling. Or, often enough, about my life’s work. Honest and cordial. That’s all.
Here ends the rant. (By the way, it is cool to run into friendly readers in the drugstore!)
“Sexy” or “Regular” chocolate? I’ll never know…
by 
My two older kids are at the age when their thoughts about sex tend toward the “ewww, gross” side of the spectrum. I’m pretty sure that if we stumbled upon an ice cream shop that served sexy chocolate, that would both end up with red faces and refuse to order chocolate, even though chocolate is a favourite flavour of both of them. Likewise, I am also reasonably sure that neither of them would ask to enter that shop again.
I realize that we live in times where sex is used to sell everything, but sexualizing ice cream is just ridiculous.
Because life tends to work towards serendipity, I heard this song by Emili Sande called Read All About It for the first time today. It is a call to courage to speak out. Check it out.
Oh Andrea, I hear you! I sometimes wonder if it truly is a Canadian thing. We’re so polite, so determined not to ruffle feathers that we self-censor in ways big and small. On the bus, no one will get up and ask the driver to turn the heat up/down. Then when I or someone else finally does out of desperation, several people breathe an obvious sigh of relief.
It’s even more obvious and important with social and moral issues. Way too often i stop before I point out the obvious or say what i really believe (often passionately). I think it has something to do with being too “nice.” Seriously. Some days I long for good old-fashioned unabashed opinionated types who aren’t afraid to speak the blunt truth. I think I should start practising to become one.
Maura
“Here ends the rant.”
Why, oh why? The primary problem with your rants is that you’re always ending them. Rant on! rant on! O ranting one …
Thanks, Melissa and Maura.
And Joel: Be careful what you wish for!! 🙂