When a couple is choosing surrogacy, IVF, or even adoption, they are met with far more options that the average couple conceiving is faced with. From the start, there are contracts and decisions to be made. For example, how many embryos is too many embryos? What level of disability are you willing to accept? All of these things are decided prior to the beginning of the process, something not many of the biological parents I’ve known have discussed prior to a routine pregnancy.
The problem is, these early decisions don’t account for the chaos factors in life. There are divorces and breakups that lead to IVF terminations, there are surrogate mothers who change their minds, couples who change their minds, and there’s the moment when a baby is born that wells up powerful, unpredictable, emotions. It is difficult, in my opinion, to attempt to legislate such an unpredictable process, especially in relation to surrogacy.
The tragic case in B.C. has brought the issue back into the spotlight.
The case of a B.C. couple who hired a surrogate to have their baby, and then demanded the fetus be aborted after they learned it would likely be born with Down syndrome, is a disturbing reminder that the ethical and moral concerns around surrogacy arrangements have not been debated and properly dealt with. The story came to light after Dr. Ken Seethram, the doctor involved, raised it at a recent conference on fertility medicine held by the Canadian Society of Fertility and Andrology.
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In the B.C. case, the couple wanted the surrogate to have an abortion, but she refused. Later, faced with the apparent prospect of having to raise the couple’s child herself, the surrogate had an abortion.
Obviously, the bottom line is that nobody should be coerced by contract into having an abortion against her will. Ethicists have suggested that if the case had gone to court, the child would have been awarded to its biological parents to raise.
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What needs to be kept uppermost in mind while sorting through the moral and ethical ramifications of the complex scenarios in vitro fertilization has engendered, is that a human being — not a commodity or product — is the subject matter.
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I cringe every time I hear that babies are treated like luxury items to be purchased and disposed of at will. I think perhaps this is why they can’t conceive naturally – it’s nature way of saying they aren’t fit parents… and on a side note … Ellen Pompeo was on CTV last week (I think)… talking about her character having had a miscarriage and the justification for not terming that ‘episode’ as losing a baby since she felt it made the loss more bearable – really? so when a woman miscarries, is she losing something as impersonal as her keys or shoes? Its ridiculous how PC everything has to be to please everyone.
Rights, rights, rights. How about a child’s right? A right to be conceived through an act of love, not technology. How about the right not to be a commodity, but a human being? How about the right to life? It seems the surrogate mother was only interested in the money, not the child’s right to life.
It seems as if with all these problems, perhaps something is fundamentally amiss. Since when did having a child conjur up contracts, legalities, dollars and questions of termination, before the child is even conceived? This sounds like Pre-nuptial contracts.
There are definitely many situations that will arise in choosing surrogacy. One that will surely arise (if it has not already) is, what happens when the biological mother does not want the baby anymore and the biological father wants the baby? Currently, if a women gets pregnant it is her decision alone to make whether she wants to keep the baby. If she chooses to keep the baby then she expects the biological father to support the baby whether he wants the baby or not. If she chooses to abort the baby, the biological father has no say. Sounds like the mother has all the rights and the fathers are thrown aside. Does this sound fair? The father has absolutely no rights, either way. But what happens when the rights of the father are up against the rights of the mother in a surrogate pregnancy? I suppose the rights of the surrogate mom will trump all. People need to stop and think about the consequences of their actions and the impact they will have on future offspring. Too many just think about the “now” and the “me”. Very selfish indeed.
@Simone
I think it’s pretty offensive to say that people who can’t conceive naturally are being told that it’s natures way of saying they aren’t fit parents.
Having worked in child mental health and sat through innumerable case conferences where it was blatantly obvious that the parents were unfit… whilst struggling to get pregnant – it’s clear that fertility has nothing to do with character.
That said, I have no truck with people who treat their children as a luxury purchase.