…will not be written about this woman, “Linda”, who, married for less than a year, got pregnant and decided to have an abortion in favour of quiet mornings spent in bed, jogging or gardening.
When I first received this article, I was angry. I sent it to Jennifer Derwey to avoid it because it is from her neck of the woods. Then I spent the weekend thinking about it.
For every woman experiencing fear, trauma, and a really difficult time in her life when she gets unexpectedly pregnant, there are one or two who are simply so lacking in courage and selflessness that they can’t face up to nine months of pregnancy and then give a baby away. Those could be the nine most difficult months of their lives, I acknowledge. But they would have done something for the greater good. Something amazing for a family who can’t have kids. Women desperate to adopt abound.
But instead, Linda’s story goes a little like this: Protagonist A is living life. Protagonist A hits on difficulty. Protagonist A chooses easy road, skirts the actual issue entirely and continues to live in exactly the same way as she did before. Cue soaring music? I don’t think so.
This makes for a lame story because it is lame.
We admire people when they do brave things. And here’s the thing. You can’t have it both ways. Many abortion-rights activists want to claim making the abortion choice is ever so brave. But that’s not what Linda is saying. She’s saying it’s routine. That many women choose abortion for many different reasons. She asks me not to bat an eye. Fine. But don’t tell me next thing that your decision to abort was courageous in its own right.
I’m sorry there are women out there like Linda who are so lacking in courage and creativity that they prefer quiet mornings of gardening to a question mark, to gift giving, to the opportunities that open up when we are selfless.
PS I have never, EVER thought that women having abortions are “sluts who aren’t using birth control,” as she puts it.
PPS Birth control is mentioned twice in this column. And the reason for that is to say, “Look at me! I was super responsible, so this pregnancy is not my fault. Therefore, I should not have to take responsibility for it.” Whereas my worldview is less judgmental than hers. If you are having sex–there is a chance you are going to get pregnant no matter how “responsible” you are.
PPPS Véronique mentioned to me in conversation post-CBC interview that there is a continuum on the life issue. There are those of us who see the embryo/fetus/developing child as being of inestimable worth. There are those who see no worth at all, like Linda; hence her ability to go and have an abortion in favour of quiet mornings. But the rest of everyone is in between in this country today. That’s why we have to discuss the issue of what life is, and when it begins…why it matters.
What sickens me in this article (among other things) is the attitude of its author – “Because if there’s any day to be thankful for abortion access, that’s the one. That’s what I’ll think about when I’m woken way too early by wiggling weasels crawling on the bed to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day.” That is some thought with which to begin Mother’s Day. Why doesn’t she just go ahead and tell her kids, “Well, you know, you’re lucky to be alive, because I could have ended it all before you were even born and then you wouldn’t be waking me up.”? Sheesh.
I think it speaks to the idea that some people see nothing, absolutely nothing of value in the embryo. Either that, or they see something and don’t give a rat’s ass, which is a scary thing. I hope it is the former, otherwise we’re right back to the times of throwing babies off cliffs to dispose of them when they were inconvenient or unwell. Ah, progress!
This article had one good result that I know of. It so infuriated a visiting Italian priest here in Halifax, when he read it, that he let fly with his thoughts about how inverted these values are. The result was that another Italian priest preached an amazing homily yesterday to his congregation – he gave a rant on the condition of our society, that this attitude is sick. So this article brought out the best in someone here, who then spoke loud and clear to several hundred people. They might not have heard this otherwise.
What breathtaking shallowness and selfishness. I know there are people out there like this, but my mind boggles that some journalist actually thought this was a good story for Mother’s Day. I’m glad I saw the Lacey Buchanan video you linked to as well, or else I would have been completely depressed all day.
The icing on the cake was when “Linda” described how she and her husband “high-five” each other when leaving the homes of friends with children. “Yee-haw! None of that crap for us! We dodged that bullet! High five!” Sick is scarcely the word.