Say, this is my second bus-related post in two days. I’m on a roll! And so are these mothers, who successfully lobbied for strollers to be allowed on Ottawa’s busses.
Honestly, I think if you are a mother taking your kids on the public bus system, you should get all the help you can. I can move my single self travelling elegantly with one small purse either off the bus, or to the back, or what have you. It’s tough enough as a mom to ensure you have everything (extra diapers, change of clothes for baby, snacks, games, books, wetnaps, what else?) forget about being told your child has to be removed and the stroller folded up. That’s the same as telling a mother with a child not to take the bus, in my opinion; a policy put forward by someone who has not hung out with a small child in a very long time.
So good on these moms for making a stand.
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Véronique adds: I was going to write a post about why strollers need to be so big these days when I realized that not only had Andrea beat me to the post but I was even behind our commenter Suzanne.
So Suzanne, since you ask, let me tell you why strollers have to be so big nowadays. It’s both simple and complicated, obvious and convoluted. While things have been getting better since I had my first child 13 years ago, we do not live in a child-friendly world yet. And so when going places with young children, one must be as self-sufficient as possible, carrying diapers, wipes, change of clothes, snacks, baby seat for the restaurant, toys, beverages, bottle warmer and so on. Not only that but once you have packed all these essentials, you still need to have room for the stuff you are purchasing, e.g. groceries etc. Because no matter how much you struggle, you will be lucky if you get more than disapproving glances from passerbys. Finally, the big swivel wheels are necessary not only to navigate through rough terrain such as sidewalks and steps, but also for one-hand manoeuverability. Because when you struggle to get two kids, a stroller and the groceries through a narrow door, you will be lucky if your fellow citizens don’t bodycheck you to get ahead, let alone holding the door for you. As for helping you, they didn’t slam the door in your face, what are you complaining about? In these circumstances, the stroller becomes an extension of your home where you can safely change, feed and rest the baby without expecting help from anyone.
Interestingly enough, shopping malls and restaurants in the suburbs — where people are largely dependant on cars to eat, sleep and breathe — are relatively child friendly. But when you venture downtown, as I often do, and try to eat in non-chain restaurants while shopping in boutiques, you need to be self-sufficient. I was shopping on Bank street in Old Ottawa South a month ago and couldn’t even get in the breastfeeding clothing store with the stroller because of the steps. Then I went to eat at the Thai restaurant where not only didn’t they have a children’s menu or a high chair, but they couldn’t even accommodate my 3 year-old son when I asked for a small bowl of rice with some chicken. “You’re a thai restaurant, you have rice?” “Yes.” “You have chicken?” “Yes.” “Can you bring rice with chicken?” “No.” So next time, I’ll be shopping with my baby carrier — in case I need to leave the stroller at the door; my collapsible booster seat — in case they don’t have a high chair; my baby and toddler’s meals — in case there is nothing on the menu for them. And so on. I’m carrying all my gear in a gas-guzzler but the requirement for self-sufficiency wouldn’t change if I had to take the bus.
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Andrea adds: For proof that Véronique is absolutely correct, see the comments on the CBC story I linked to. (The CBC! These are ostensibly the compassionate lefties!) The vast majority are crusty childless folks complaining about how now that these mothers have won this battle their sense of entitlement will only grow. Excuse me? I was actually alarmed as I scrolled through those comments. Do I truly live in a city where people complain because some young mom is struggling to get somewhere on the bus? Don’t you think if she could possibly afford it she’d prefer to take a car? I find the comments absolutely, mind numbingly callous.
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I’ve been on both sides of the issues. The big strollers are humungous pain in my point of view, but I’ve had to take a stroller on the bus. I try to stick to low-ridership routes, but even when you try to plan to not be in the way, stuff happens.
Why do strollers have to be so humungous? That’s what I want to know. When will someone invent a stroller than folds up conveniently by itself? Someone MUST of thought of it by now.
Why does the whole world have to accommodate young children? If a restaurant chooses not to alter its menu, likely in the hope that you and your children will not return, that is a leigitimate choice. I have no children and do my level best to be at least tolerant of their noise and behaviour in such places as airplanes, buses and restaurants. However, I admit that I would willingly patronize such of those venues, and pay more for the privilege, that catered solely to adults.
And Lauri, no problem for me there–some venues are meant for adults and should cater to adults and that’s fine. Fine dining? Absolutely. I don’t pay good money for a fancy dinner out (a treat and a break) and expect to sit with crying babies. It’s my guess the average mom feels the same way. The bus system, on the other hand–if that isn’t meant for children/families/everyone–then I don’t know what is. Finally-I’m pretty sure I know the Thai restaurant Veronique tried to get chicken and rice in and it ain’t no high-class fancy adult-only venue. They should be able to accommodate a customer on a small request like that and that they couldn’t is a sign they are at very, very least, not very creative.
I might add that privately one notes a difference between Canada and the United States on this front. In travelling in the US with pregnant friends or friends with kids, one notes a whole lot more respect. A lot more of the Hey–are you pregnant, Congratulations! And more attempts to help. That’s just my (limited) personal experience. I wonder what others think.
Wow. I cannot believe those comments on cbc.ca. Especially one man you wrote that he hated parents – and received tons of thumbs up. Do people forget that they were once a baby? What a selfish society we have become – with such little thought to the needs of children.
I empathize with all of those moms – especially the single ones trying to get to daycare and work/school during rush hour. I live in the middle of nowhere, which I am thankful for after reading this story. I will be travelling solely by car when my little one arrives in April.
I can understand that there is a problem when the walkway gets blocked.
What I don’t understand is why they think that limiting strollers is the solution. Maybe they need to create more handicapt spaces on the busses, so that the strollers can be placed out of the way?
I have a fairly small stroller, for which I am glad, because I used to take it on the Montreal Metro where I’d have to carry it (and my child) up or down two or three flights of stairs. When I had one child, that worked. Going out with two children, I would often need a bag of extra clothes for the kids, as well as diapers, food, a toy or book, and whatever I needed for myself. Having carrying space on the stroller is necessary, and the cheap umbrella ones don’t have carrying space.
Véronique: I’ve had three kids, and I’ve never felt the need to overload my stroller. The typical umbrella stroller is sufficient for all my needs (although my #3 feels uncomfortable for it now, so I use the Avalon).
I think the stroller design is the problem. You don’t need a giant stroller to carry a 10-pound baby.
It seems logical to me that blocking the bus aisle shouldn’t be allowed, whatever the cause.
And my policy is: if the store isn’t child-friendly, I don’t go there.