In late months I have been known as the mother of a newborn but let’s not forget that I am equally invested as the mother of a teenager (13) and a preteen (12). And with teenagers came the highjacking of radio waves and other music-playing implements i.e. my iPod.
When the kids’ music started to appear on my iPod I saw the additions to my playlists as a window into my children’s mind. If I tell you that my daughter listens to Taylor Swift and Kelly Clarkson and that my son listens to a heteroclite mix of Barry Manilow, The Beatles, Survivor and the Arrogant Worms mixed in with full-length episodes of Mythbusters, you can get a decent outline of their personalities. At first I enjoyed listening to Taylor Swift and remembering why Thank God! I’m no longer the girl from White Horse and Teardrops on my guitar. And I have to admit that when my kids nicknamed their dark-eyed baby sister “Black-eyed pea” I found it quite endearing. Unfortunately, things never stay manageable for long and soon enough, my children had also taken over – in addition to my iPod — the car radio, my laptop and my iTunes card.
Parents, if you never listen to whatever local radio station kids listen to in your area, you must get a reality check. At first, I thought my ears were playing tricks on me, or maybe I didn’t quite get today’s slang: “Wait a minute here! Did Lady Gaga just say ‘Don’t think too much just bust that stick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick’?? She did? Oh. My. Goodness.”
Thankfully, my children were no more eager to listen to Lady Gaga’s ravings about – ahem – disco sticks in the company of their mother than I was. They quickly learned to change the channel within the first two beats of any song with a less-than-family-rated content. That’s until they sorta’ realized that if mom didn’t get the x-rated content in a song, then maybe it would be okay to keep quiet about it and leave the radio on, if you know what I mean. And that’s why we have been listening to Britney Spears’ latest offering for the last two months.
Parents, what is wrong with Britney’s latest ditty I ask you? Check out the lyrics and tell me if you figured it out on your own or if you needed the help of a savvy teenager. You are not allowed to google “what’s wrong with Britney Spears’ lyrics” (Caveat: this may not work if you a have a home schooled or private religious schooled child who has never been exposed to profanity. I envy you by the way.)
My question for today: I have a 7-year-old and a 9-year-old who love to sing that song. They don’t know what they are singing. Should I tell them and ask them to stop singing, thus highlighting profanity they didn’t know about; not tell them the profanity part but ask them to stop singing – which may amount to asking you not to think about a pink elephant — or should I ignore it altogether and wait for the next catchy top 20 hit, knowing that Britney’s song, like all the other, will soon fade into oblivion?
by 
The first time I heard about this, even with audio clips and commentary pointing to the offending phrase, I was totally unable to figure this one out. But one night, I came across her music video in full and it finally clicked. I was a little bit surprised, I had assumed something a bit more subtle was being slipped in.
I don’t know if I have good advice from the parental angle, but I don’t really like the 2nd option. If banning something, I think you’ve got to explain why; the ultimate goal is to build up their own discernment skills. Whether you ban it outright or let it pass is ultimately comes down to your level of comfort with the content of the song and the benefit you will derive from eliminating it from the kid’s environment.
I find this is exceptionally difficult when the content in question has become an established favourite (I have one of these in my house too … so far I’ve just let it slide, but this is just a default stance and I really haven’t dealt with the issue myself).
We banned a lot in our house. My husband was always very vocal about what was good and what was bad in books, music, popular culture, etc. In fact, that is why we never had cable TV. Also why we imposed a curfew on the TV that could be watched.
We raised three girls in a house with an area of less than 900 square feet, which makes for a lot of problems. However, I have to say in retrospect that being on top of each other, certainly gave us much more control over what our kids were into than if they all had their own rooms, their own TVs, etc.
Everything they did was known to everyone else. And that made for a lot of family arguments over the supper table.
My husband and I told our girls what was acceptable and what wasn’t, and in very strong terms. If they listened or watched these things, it wasn’t in our house. I can remember pulling the plug on Pretty Woman when my middle daughter put it on while my five year old was present. Embarrassed as she was, I told her and her friend that it was not suitable for her younger sister and it wasn’t suitable for her either.
All my girls have told me, in later years, that this was the right thing to do. They now know why we had such enforced boundaries on behaviour in and out of our house. And they are glad for it now.
Many parents would find that repressive, but I truly believe that our children need to be protected from the culture that is out there. Because it is low-life and it leads them into behaviour that will inevitably make them unhappy.
I’m 25 and I admit- I had to look up what was offensive in this song! I had never heard it before if that helps! This is one reason I NEVER listen to the radio and when my twin sister listens to this stuff I make her change it because I think it is so offensive and changes our thinking even if we don’t think about it.
I think it is a total parental choice in terms of what the kids understand- I remember singing songs when I was young by Paula Abdul (my favorite when I was young!) and the Rolling Stones knowing what they were talking about and feeling like I could get away with it because my parents didn’t know that I knew what it was about and I was young anyway.
However, I LOVED Judy Blume books as a kid as well and it was only in my twenties when I explicitly read why some people thought they were offensive that I figured out my favorite of all (Are you there God, It’s me, Margaret) insinuated masturbation- and even that I had to think a little bit about before I “got it” and became terribly shocked!
So- if they’re not singing the song in public I say let them go ahead and don’t highlight the profanity. Are you sure about the nine year old, thougH?!
I admit I´ve heard the song, liked the beat but didn´t pay attention to the lyrics. I´ve never been one to pay attention or memorize to lyrics. So I didn´t catch it and had to google. I have to say she´s a very talented artist to pull off such a song and play on words. That said, I pray she returns to her childhood faith and makes similar but good wholesome songs. It is nice to dream.
You have to use your best judgement on this Veronique.
Just remember “garbage in, garbage out”. And that applies even if the person ingesting it doesn’t know it is garbage. It will have a detrimental effect.
I had to google what was wrong with the lyrics, because i TOTALLY didn’t get it.
(By the way I am Julie’s daughter so take what I just said together with her first comment and that will probably tell you a lot. And I was the BAD one!)
Also had to google it, and now I am appalled too, though not overly surprised.
I’m guess how you approach this one depends on the kids’ understanding of things. Unfortunately, pretty much every kid is aware of the f-word…if they haven’t heard it spoken, they’ve seen it on public washroom walls, and they know it’s bad. Explaining to them how this song contains the word should probably be enough to make them understand why you’re banning it…you may not necessarily have to go into what the word means.
I had to google it as well. I am the middle daughter of Julie – the one who tried to watch Pretty Woman with my five-year old sister – ack, I would kill someone who did the same with my kids. The thing that most disturbs me is that the overt, pornographic sexuality that is standard fare these days swings both ways. There is something profoundly disturbing in that the Lady Gagas and Britney Spears desire the affection of both sexes. Bisexuality has always been around (especially in artsy, avant-garde circles) but it has now come out in full force and seems to be wholeheartedly accepted. Turn off the tunes and introduce the kids to music that won’t damage them.
I agree with Julie. It’s up to the parents to clean up the house. Some music was off limits in mine.
At the time it was Michael Jackson, I didn’t like the music or the words so if my kids listened to it it was not in our house.
Call me whatever you want, but it worked. They knew if my husband and I disapproved, it was not good for them.
They did learn to like classical music which was always available in our house.
I’d hardly give the title of “talented artist” for being able to “pull that off.” That seems a stretch to me. She probably didn’t even write it, and the person who did is neither talented nor an artist either. Might as well call a porn merchant a talented artist in that case.
“There is something profoundly disturbing in that the Lady Gagas and Britney Spears desire the affection of both sexes. Bisexuality has always been around (especially in artsy, avant-garde circles) but it has now come out in full force and seems to be wholeheartedly accepted. Turn off the tunes and introduce the kids to music that won’t damage them.”
I’m bisexual and I’m not “disturbing” or “damaged.” I’ve also been in a monogamous relationship for nearly seven years.