I called my male therapist a chauvinist pig when he labeled my childlessness “a biological tragedy.” What seemed tragic was that it took me until my 40s to feel together enough to bear a child. By then it was too late. I feared God was saying: “I offered you the miracle of birth. You don’t get to choose when.”
She bought the line our culture serves. Wait until you are ready! I don’t think egg freezing is the answer, of course, but rather a more laid back approach to life. After all, her mother by her own admission truly had it all. And when you look, I see these role model women all around me. Five children, three children, seven children, and sitting up on a political panel at the top of their game, political commentators, think tankers, doctors, lawyers, speechwriters, etc.
PS. If you are not actually waiting for anything and can’t find a good man to settle down with, this article is not for you. I know plenty of people who don’t think waiting to try for children at 40 is the best plan they could possibly come up with. People–pro-life people, even–can be so insensitive. So. If you want to be married and try for kids and it hasn’t happened, go enjoy what is before you today, regardless of what that might be, planned or unplanned.
These are the shoes you don’t wear with kids in tow, but can wear without. See? Advantages on both sides.