Don’t you love it when your family newspaper tells you how to have great sex? If so, you’ll want to go have a look, here. I admit I was intrigued by the first paragraph:
Put away your vacuum pump, heavy-duty auto booster cables and edible latex Brad Pitt face mask-and-abs combo.
According to a study released Thursday, such items are simply litter along the road to great sex.
Brad Pitt I get, but heavy-duty auto booster cables? Do people (more or less normal people, I mean), use those for sex? I knew I’d missed a couple of beats, there, but I had no idea… Anyway. I don’t like litter so out they go!
Where was I? Oh yes. Great sex.
Apparently, according to that newspaper article (and who wouldn’t believe such a trusted source of empirical research?), “sexual fulfilment has far less to do with technique and perfect bodies — elements most often ascribed great significance by popular culture — and more to do with such factors as presence, connection and erotic intimacy.”
So pop culture and its countless magazines (you know which ones I mean) describing in great detail the 101 secrets to pleasing your guy are actually lying? Now that’s news!
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Deborah says
Shouldn’t that reporter be writing for Cosmo instead or something?
And people wonder why our newspapers are all failing.
El says
Gee, who’da thunk it! Connection is more important than a Brad Pitt mask (eww)! I’m keeping my jumper cables though, no matter what they say.
College Humor says
Thanks for sharing your insights!