I feel this woman’s pain at being asked a simple question: “Is it your first?”
A moving piece in the Globe and Mail.
Time heals – for the most part that is true – but I will not forget, nor would I wish to. To forget would mean never recognizing a time when I, too, would initiate a conversation with a pregnant woman by asking her if it was her first; a time of innocence when I never considered the unthinkable in relation to such a happy event.
I envy the stranger’s innocence. My firstborn taught me that once innocence is lost, it cannot be regained; but it can be treasured and revered whether I answer “yes” or “no.”
by 
Can’t read the article. Perhaps the Globe denies access.
I have a friend who lost her firstborn to adoption when we were in college and now that she’s married and pregnant again I’ve been present for that uncomfortable pause when a mother of another friend asked her “is this your first?” She eventually responded “…lets say yes”. It was obviously not something she wanted to talk about and the older woman (who I know had gone through a stillbirth in her family) responded with compassion and no questions.