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You are here: Home / All Posts / You can’t do that to a child, period

You can’t do that to a child, period

April 11, 2010 by Brigitte Pellerin 5 Comments

Wow, what a perfectly horrible story:

It sounds like a script for a B-grade horror movie: a childless 30-something American woman decides to adopt a seven-year-old orphan boy from halfway around the world.  Overnight, the boy’s world changes completely:  from the gloom of a Russian orphanage, he is transported to the bucolic “horse country” of Tennessee.  At first all seems well, but as time goes on the boy begins to display disturbing behaviour, spitting, hissing and kicking his new mother, threatening to kill family members, reacting violently when denied a new toy, attempting to beat a relative with a statue when asked to correct his math homework.

Finally, when the child not only threatens to burn down his house but draws pictures of the conflagration, the adoptive mother hatches a desperate plan.  She puts the boy on a plane back to Russia with a note saying that he has severe psychological problems, she was lied to by the orphanage, and that she had

“…given my best to this child [but was] sorry to say that for the safety of my family, friends and myself, I no longer wish to parent this child. As he is a Russian national, I am returning him to your guardianship and would like the adoption disannulled.”

Were this a movie, that would be the final frame; the haunted face of a purported psychopathic child staring out the face of the airplane, while his adoptive mother and her family sob with both guilt and relief.  But this isn’t a fantasy – it’s the real story of Russian orphan Artyom Savelyev and his American adoptive mother, Torry Hansen.  And this drama didn’t end at the airport: it has spawned an international diplomatic incident, a freeze on American adoption of Russian children, and an investigation into the adoptive mother and her family.

Words fail me. I gather adoption is not always easy, and I’m sure international adoptions are several orders of magnitude harder. Especially when the child has been mistreated – or “mistreated” according to posh North American standards. But good grief – “I no longer wish to parent this child”? That’s enough to kick an orphan, a 7-year-old orphan, back to Russia?

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Comments

  1. SUZANNE says

    April 11, 2010 at 10:57 pm

    Failed adoptions are actually not that uncommon. I once read a statistic that said something like 1 in 6 adoptions in Canada fail, i.e. the kid goes back. These kids can have a lot of baggage.

    I sympathize with the mother’s attempt to protect her children. What I want to know is: why wasn’t this kid treated or institutionalized in the US? If it were your own flesh and blood, that’s what you would normally do.

    I feel very sorry for the kid. He’s clearly messed up and in need of some guidance, authority and plain old TLC. What’s going to happen to him? Now that he has this reputation, will anyone want him?

    Reply
  2. Jennifer Derwey says

    April 12, 2010 at 8:54 am

    Suzanne is that true? I didn’t realize that children could ‘go back’ without some legal reason, such as the birth parent(s) wanting them back etc. I had no idea there was the option of divorce in parenthood.
    I think this is furthering my support of local adoptions. When you adopt in the US or Canada through a public agency, the needs of the child outweigh the needs/desires of the parents. This means you may not get the exact age you requested, the timeline can be long for the wait, gender may not be specified etc. But all of this is common experience with any would-be parents, and perhaps most closely parallels the ‘natural’ experience of birth parents. Then there is a probation period (sometimes even a period of foster parenting various children), wherein a representative reports back to the ministry. Then finally… you’re the parents.
    I appreciate that there are more orphans outside the borders than inside, but if local adoption was promoted as better option which better prepared adopting parents, maybe abortion rates locally would decline too?

    Reply
  3. Susie says

    April 12, 2010 at 10:19 am

    This sad story happened near me and my daughter and husband adopted two toddlers from Russia. The mother was so wrong. She did not seek out help for the child here and the worse case scenerio was releasing him to another US family better able to cope with him. Don’t miss the fact that she was a single mom with a six year old boy.
    My daugher and husband were in the long expensive process of adopting when a bad story like this hit the airwaves and Russia closed down adoptions to the US causing their son whom they met at age two to linger for one more year in an orphanage wondering where they were while Russia closed down US adoptions. They were able to go get him at age three when Russia opened up again. He displayed some of the same behavior as this boy. You cannot take a child to a different country with a new language, food, climate and strangers and not expect this. It was a challenge but now he has been here four years and just turned seven. He is the sweetest most affectionate and loving child with a constant smile on his face and he came from the poorest region in Russia. How this mother could have done this after seven mos. is outrageous. Now Russia is closing adoptions to America and many couples are left waiting like my daughter. I thank God for our Finley and John and admire the perserverence of my daugther and her husband.
    And no pro aborts ….they are not better off dead…..no child is. And there is no such thing as an unwanted child…all children are wanted by someone.

    Reply
  4. SUZANNE says

    April 12, 2010 at 11:38 am

    Here’s a detailed article on “adoption disruptions” :

    http://encyclopedia.adoption.com/entry/disruption/113/1.html

    Reply
  5. Bob Devine says

    April 13, 2010 at 5:45 pm

    According to the news last night while she shipped that little boy back to Russia she is currently engaged in the process of adopting another one from there.

    Reply

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