It must be fitting somehow that our pumpkin should have half rotted before today (it’s been raining buckets around here). Not that it stopped squirrels from trying to eat the thing (ewww). Oh well. The chocolate bars and various candy things still look good, and that’s the main part, right?
I don’t remember when my last blog post was but I am reasonably certain it was a while ago. I think about blogging all the time but the opportunity to sit down for, say, 15 uninterrupted minutes seldom comes around. Or it comes around at 11 pm, squarely 18 hours after I’ve hit the ground running for another jammed packed day. I have a file folder full of half-started blog posts and a head full of half-baked comments. But the headlines come and go and the new Word documents remain untouched. I have developed an addiction to Facebook and Twitter or “how to have a social life in 15 seconds or less.” Life with six children is a constant source of wonder — mixed with exasperation, beaming pride and frustration — but it is a busy life.
As I write these lines, it’s 10:30 am and there are floors to be vacuumed, three bathrooms to be sanitized, a supper to get on the way, a few plants to be re-potted, a baby to be consoled, a puppy play-area to be set-up, winter coats and boots to be unearthed and two kitty litters to be changed. The greatest thing about finding happiness in small things — like writing instead of doing housework — is that you find more happiness. We are just wrapping up 10 weeks of kitchen reno during which I was making all the food and doing all the dishes on the deck in increasingly cold weather. When the tradesmen — no tradespeople around here: they’re all guys — come in and say “Wow! it must be nice to have such a great kitchen!” I say “I’m just glad to have an indoor kitchen!!” Small mercies I’m telling you, like indoor plumbing, are the spice of life.
In the last 6 months, I have meant to blog on life with teenagers, the HPV vaccine (did we agree to it or not and why), guidelines for neonatal resuscitation, euthanasia, raising children to be obedient and come out of attics when called (until it came out that the child was in fact being obedient by staying in said attic and my point was moot), avoiding DIY medical procedures like circumcision, all the things I’ve learned about raising children by reading dog training books, H1N1 mass vaccination in Ottawa (I’m still waiting) and my latest “Parent of the Year award goes to…” Instead, we sold our house and moved into a new one, tore down some serious walls and rebuilt new ones, thought of writing a backyard cooking book, got two cats, mourned the death of one to coyotes, got another one, and a puppy, slept very little, remembered with shame all the friends who have yet to receive thank you notes following the birth of my soon-to-be toddler, and put more mileage on the truck from driving kids to athletic activities than we would have driving to Jamaica and back.
Someday I’m sure, I will have all the time in the world to write. But I’m also sure that I will miss the insanity of my children’s younger years. Meanwhile in the trenches, if you will excuse me, the baby is chewing on a USB stick and the kitten just wrapped himself in a roll of boxing tape…
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Andrea adds: Véronique, I miss you when you can’t post, but when you are back, it is worth the wait. I laughed out loud three times reading this, and I’m not talking discrete chuckles. (“All the things I’ve learned about raising children by reading dog training books”??) We’re talking the kind of laughter that has people turning their heads in restaurants…now this happens to me quite frequently, I might add, but that doesn’t make this post any less funny.
Margaret Wente in today’s Globe:
There was only one woman Mr. Trudeau failed to charm: Margaret Thatcher. She loathed him, especially when he launched his personal peace initiative under the influence of Ms. Kidder. By then, it was the early eighties and a vast number of Canadians, including me, had grown to loathe him, too.
But then one night he kissed me on the hand, and all was forgiven.
I knew Pierre Trudeau cavorted with dictators, dabbled in fascism, embraced communism, tanked Alberta. I did not know he abused women too. And for this, so many revere him? When those are your sins, I don’t forgive for a kiss on the hand, I’ll tell you that much. Say it ain’t so, Margaret Wente. Why can’t more women have the sense of Margaret Thatcher?
I don’t mean to sound anti-science (no more than usual, I mean), but man oh man, I do find this stuff spooky. And isn’t it amazing to be surrounded by advice on how to have great amazing (yet sterile) sex every day of the month and by stories extolling the virtues of creating eggs and sperm in some lab in part to help understand infertility, all at the same time?
At the risk of sounding overly simplistic (more than usual, I mean), wouldn’t it be easier if we pretty much kept sex for procreative reasons and left it at that?
Oh, I know. We can’t do that. It’s not nearly as sophisticated as turning the inability to control basic hormonal urges into a science.
Is it just me or is the tone of this piece basically a “how-to” on how to test–and then “choose”–about the life of your baby with Downs Syndrome?
I remain shocked (and I hope to always be by pieces like this).
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Brigitte objects: There are a few things in that article (beyond the obvious) that bug me a great deal. Talking about women who are “at risk” or “at high risk” of having a child with Down’s syndrome takes for granted that having a child born with the condition is an unmitigated bad thing. And it is not. True, having a Down’s syndrome child is different, and perhaps more challenging, than having a “normal” child (although I’ve met plenty of “normal” children who were very challenging and generally quite the handful). But it’s not a disaster. Also, parents are not “choosing to terminate a Down’s pregnancy”. They are “choosing” to terminate an unborn baby they believe has Down’s syndrome. (How come those articles don’t mention the false positives, huh?) I don’t care how much disdain you may have for the condition and for people who are born with it; but these are human beings just like you so don’t talk about them as though they were undesirable things.
And another thing. “National guidelines say that all women should be routinely offered screening for Down’s by the NHS. Screening is voluntary, and some women choose not to have it.” They’re trying to make the women who would prefer not to test every single aspect of their unborn babies appear to be the bizarre weirdos, and that really bothers me. There is nothing wrong with not taking every test authorities recommend. Life isn’t testable. It is, or it isn’t. And to repeat myself, testing for conditions that can only be “fixed” by killing the person carrying them is not medicine.
“Unwanted pregnancies” come, in part, due to articles like this one.
Flipping through Women’s Health magazine, (online is subscriber access only) I come across an article. 28 Days of Hot Sex! The Secret to Keeping Your Libido Amped! (their bold). Tips on having great sex is standard fluffy magazine fare. So I peruse the article, because really, I’m not immune to thinking 28 days of Hot Sex! could be nice, however highly unlikely, only to discover the reason why we are learning about 28 ways, not 30, not 11, is because the article attempts to follow a woman’s menstrual cycle.
Now that I just lost all our male readers, I can be more candid. “When women hear the word menstrual, they tend to think cramps and discomfort,” says our resident (female) PhD of the hour, quoted in the magazine.
Lady–there’s a reason for that.
Of course it is a myth that all women have a 28 day cycle. This will be true only if you are on the Pill, ie. you are manufacturing a fake cycle thanks to pharmaceutical companies. Otherwise, as any wise person will tell you, it can be anywhere between 25 and 40 and still be normal. Bygones. We (royal) keep reading.
Now I’m not a big fan of “how to have great sex” articles in the first place, which shall be the subject of a different post, but in short it comes down to the idea that if you love someone and they are committed to you–and yes, ladies and gentleman–that commitment comes only in marriage, you can probably figure out the “hows” without a guide. Maybe a little practice, perhaps. But no guide. Because really, the committment creates the great sex.
No, says Women’s Health. It’s all about hormones. Fair enough, I play along. Those play a substantial role in women’s lives. Let’s not pretend otherwise. There’s been moments when I thought I might weep while reading the newspaper, and while some headlines can indeed be sad, I am usually able to turn my frown upside down. So certainly they play a role.
But the article goes on to highlight the hormonal ups and downs, all the while happily declaring you can have sex Every Single Day Of Your Cycle! Even Day One. (Think about that for a second.)
At this point, I decide this article is written by space aliens. Male space aliens.
But my main point is this (those of you still reading can email me to claim your prize): The article happily goes through every day of your cycle outlining what sort of satisfying sex you can have, the hormonal ups and downs and never once mentions ovulation, fertility, or any of the very concrete reasons why women have a hormonal cycle in the first place.
I look forward to their next issue, which will surely contain an article about what can happen when women have sex during the fertile time of their cycle.
But I’m guessing they’ll just leave that to Today’s Parent.
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It’s a good thing Brigitte is always ready to ask the tough questions: I’m just wondering, what’s the opposite of an amped libido?
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Andrea adds: Opposite of an amped libido could be one on the Pill, Brigitte. Oh the irony.
President Barack Obama is average, says Charles Krauthammer in an interview with the German magazine Der Spiegel. He never once mentions abortion, and gives Obama a fairly negative assessment in spite of his policies on that, probably because Krauthammer is himself pro-choice. What I note is how non-conciliatory Obama is on just about everything. (And I’m surprised Der Spiegel ran this interview.)
See here for more information. Nominate your favourite(s)!
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Andrea adds: Last year we were Best New Blog. This year: Best Feminist Blog? he he.
Mobs of upset parents whose children are less than geniuses bombard the Magic Kingdom for full refund. Reason: Baby Einstein videos don’t raise your kids’ IQs.
This news has rocked the parenting world, which had embraced the videos as a miraculous child-rearing staple. Videos that make your kid smarter while you prepare dinner? Genius! … Still, the idea that a caper this big could be pulled off…is mind-boggling. Disney’s refund is about as close as we’re going to get to an actual admission that we were sold snake oil, and it casts a pall over the other “educational” toys out there.
Man, we’re dumb.
Oklahoma has drafted new laws, which would require a woman to see an ultrasound before an abortion and/or answer questions in a survey about why she is having one.
I favour both of these ideas, as does the woman who helped draft the laws:
“Do they feel they have no other choice? Is it financial? What are the reasons that lead up to that very desperate choice of a woman?” said Republican state Rep. Pam Peterson, who played a key role in drafting both laws.
If you only have one choice, it isn’t really a choice. And these ardent pro-choicers know that when women see their babies on an ultrasound, they tend to not want to kill them. It’s called information, and unless you have a hidden agenda, it shouldn’t be so scary.
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Rebecca adds: Surely we’re the only ones with a hidden agenda, right?
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Andrea adds: Correct, Rebecca. It has been empirically proven that only right wing religious nutbars can ever have a hidden agenda. Pro-choicers on the left came out all clear.