Archives for 2009

I get emails to ProWomanProLife from women who have had abortions from time to time. Some are hostile, some are thankful, some are in between.

I recently got a note from a girl who could be described as “in between.” She told her story. She wasn’t prepared to have a baby she would never hold and give it up for adoption. She wrote she didn’t want to burden her family, and she said she still feels like a child herself. She didn’t want a response, she said, she wanted only to get her thoughts off her chest. She concluded by saying she didn’t think we were prowoman.

I felt sad while reading that note. Because whoever she is, she only did what the world told her she could. And I had to think to myself that in the eyes of many in the world, what she did makes sense. And what we are doing at ProWomanProLife, well, it doesn’t.

Still, her note reminded me of why I am doing what I’m doing. So I’m including the note I sent her in return, below.

Thank you for taking the time to write in with your story. As you say, you just wanted to this off your chest, and so I’m not sure what an appropriate response is. I guess I’d like you to know that I read your letter and I am thinking about it.

I am constantly struggling with what it means to be pro-woman. In a very concrete way, a baby that would delay your studies, cause you to have morning sickness every day, change your life substantially–well, in a way, you are absolutely right. Keeping that baby is not, in the short term, something that appears to be in line with your goals and dreams, and therefore, not very pro-woman.

A bit about me…I am 33 years old, unmarried, no children. One fear is that I’ll never get the opportunity to have children. It has proven easy for me to have a career, and hard to attain personal success, if we could call it that. (Marriage, children.) Forgive me if this is “too much information”–I’m just telling you a tiny bit of my story so that we might meet somewhere in the middle on what it means to be pro-woman. It has been easy to have a career, and hard to settle down into a family, something I now seek, and something I put off for such time as it would be perfect. I’m not sure at this stage of my life that the perfect time ever comes, not as I understand it to be perfect, anyway.

My long term perspective of what “success” means has really altered over the years. Just as the definition of what it means to be “pro-woman” might alter for you… My baseline understanding of this issue is that the child developing is dependent on the mother, part of her, and that there is no “undo” button, so to speak. Namely that abortion may act as a short-term “solution” but your life has been radically changed no matter what. The health and life of the baby is dependent on the woman, but also the health and life of the woman is dependent to some degree on what happens to that child. It’s like a web–and one can’t do well without the other.

We are all on a journey in this life. And everything happens for a
reason. There is purpose in every step. Your pregnancy and subsequent abortion happened for a reason. In the event that one day you look back and wonder whether you did the right thing–I hope you’ll feel comfortable to talk to people around you. There’s actually a web site called Abortion Changes You— Please feel free to write into this site again.
I hope nothing in this note offends you and would look forward to hearing your thoughts in reply, but obviously feel no obligation. From your note you sound like a mature person who has great dreams and goals. I wish you all the best in pursuing those, and a happy Christmas season.

And I wish every reader all the best in pursuing their goals, and a happy Christmas season, and the opportunity to have every success, whatever success may mean.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErrzjGCi3gY]

May you not be visited by three ghosts (unless you’ve been living as Scrooge, in which case may you be visited by three ghosts and have a tremendous conversion of the heart) but do enjoy this clip from my all time favourite Christmas Carol version:

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGGohTPuOeQ&feature=fvw]

First this, now this:

Uganda will soften its proposed anti-gay legislation, but the government denied on Wednesday that it was bowing to an outcry in the West over a controversial bill that could have seen homosexuals put to death.

Ethics and Integrity Minister Nsaba Buturo told Reuters that the revised law would now probably limit the maximum penalty for offenders to life in prison rather than execution.

“There have been a lot of discussions in government … regarding the proposed law, but we now think a life sentence could be better because it gives room for offenders to be rehabilitated,” he said in an interview. “Killing them might not be helpful.”

Well, you know. They’re not quite ready for Will & Grace reruns. In my book, life in prison should be reserved for really horrible crimes, and say what you want about homosexuality and homosexual sex (between adults), a crime it shouldn’t be. Anywhere. But it’s a (tiny, very tiny) step forward.

Because of stories like this one:

A man who encouraged his teenage son to marry and rape his 12-year-old cousin has been jailed.

The 54-year-old organised a sham Muslim ceremony between his son, then 16, and the girl at his home in Woolwich, south-east London, in March last year.

At Wood Green Crown Court the boy got an 18-month supervision order for rape.

The fathers of the boy and girl were both jailed for three years for inciting a child to engage in sexual activity following an illegal marriage.

The boy’s mother, 54, was given a 12-month jail term, suspended for two years, for the same offence.

She was also ordered to do 200 hours of community service.

I don’t care why these people behave this way – culture, religion, voices in their head. What I care about is that there be only one law that applies to everyone equally. Raping a 12-year-old (who, in many countries including Canada, could not legally give consent to sexual relations) is always wrong and should be punished severely. Marrying a 12-year-old is, likewise, illegal. And it is extremely dangerous to allow a parallel system of “justice” to exist, especially one that is renowned for the often atrocious way it treats girls and women.

It’s not very complicated. You’d think even politicians would understand that.

[h/t]

The best ads of the 2000s.

ProWomanProLife came in fifth position at the Canadian Blog Awards – Political category. Thanks to all who voted for us!

Here’s a breakthrough: A simple blood test can reveal the gender of a developing fetus. Accurately. And as early as five weeks. It’s extremely cool, but a bit daunting, too.

University of Pennsylvania bioethicist and msnbc.com contributor Arthur Caplan, Ph.D., calls the techonology “very useful,” but points out that for most inherited disorders there are few therapies, which means “elective abortion is just about the only option in response to fetal testing.” While most doctors would discourage its use merely to select gender, its increasing availability “puts physicians in the position of offering testing that may lead to abortions for non-medical reasons,” making the test “fraught with ethical problems.”

There’s no stopping science. There’s only stopping ourselves from using it for the wrong purposes.

Peter Stockland has a fine piece on euthanasia, and the “need” to debate whether it should become “part of standard medical practice”.

As a defender of free speech, I would never oppose such debate. I would argue only that the ordained answer must be short and sweet: No. Or, for those who want a more prolonged response: Never.