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“Your child, no matter how old, is, was and still is important”

August 4, 2015 by Faye Sonier Leave a Comment

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep is an incredible organization. Here is a little about the American org, which has photographers in Canada:

The photo session by Ottawa photographer Julie Hearty was provided through Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, a U.S.-based non-profit organization that operates in more than 40 countries. It was formed in 2005 by Cheryl Haggard, a Colorado mother whose son Maddux died six days after birth, and Sandy Puc´, a professional photographer contacted by Haggard’s husband to take photos of Maddux. It was Haggard’s belief that her family’s healing would come about by remembering Maddux, rather than by forgetting him.

Last year, 38 families in the Ottawa area used Now I Lay Me Down’s services at numerous hospitals, while others had similar packages provided by a handful of photographers who volunteer at Roger’s House.

These words by the manager of CHEO’s palliative care program demonstrate such a compassion for pre-born children and their parents:

“When babies die at birth or just before birth, these parent suffer what we call disenfranchised grief, because people don’t recognize how meaningful this child was to them. And even if that child lives two minutes, that’s a relationship, and they can talk about their child. Even if they’re stillborn, they can still talk about their child. They held them, they bathed them, they had their pictures taken, they were part of the family. They had handprints. They gave them names.

“The main message is that your child, no matter how old, is, was and still is important. They lived. They had a heart that beat, somewhere.”

The Ottawa Citizen article is well worth your time.

It’s certainly nice to read words of compassion about unborn babies. It’s refreshing when we consider what else is being said and done.

Pregnancy

photo credit: 5 meses via photopin (license)

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20% of Ottawa residents registered on Ashley Madison

July 23, 2015 by Faye Sonier 2 Comments

I live in Ottawa. When the Ashley Madison story first broke, I thought to myself, “Wow, four people in Ottawa are going to be really stressed out.”

I know. My brain picked “four” as the likely number of people in my city registered on a website that facilitates infidelity. I thought Ashley Madison was an American company, and Ottawa can sometimes seems like a quiet little town. Sure, we have our occasional scandals on the Hill, but really. Ottawa?

Canada’s capital city, Ottawa, is also it’s most potentially adulterous, Reuters reports. Around 1 in 5 of the population is registered on Ashley Madison, a social network aimed at married people that touts “Life is short. Have an affair” as it’s slogan.

The sleepy city, with a population of around 883,000 boasts 189,810 users, according to Avid Life Media, the Toronto-based company that owns the service.

I find this all really depressing. It’s likely that I know at least a few people who’ve signed up for help to cheat on their partners.

Woman and Laptop

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An open letter to the woman demanding a million dollars to avoid abortion

July 2, 2015 by Faye Sonier 28 Comments

Many of you have heard of this woman by now. She says she’s a 26-year-old graduate student who lives in a state that requires a 72-hour waiting period between a consultation for an abortion procedure and the procedure itself.

On July 7, this anonymous woman will give pro-lifers 72 hours to donate one million dollars to her website. If they do, she’ll let her child live, place the child for adoption and put the money in a trust for him or her. If not, she’ll abort her child and return the donations.

She anticipates that pro-lifers won’t give her the money, which she will interpret as pro-lifers only caring about babies, and not women. To make her point, she’ll abort her child on July 10.

Her website domain name is ProlifeAntiWoman. We, at ProWomanProLife, felt compelled to respond to her open letter with our own.

Dear Anonymous Pro-Choicer,

Pro-lifers believe that their position is consistent with a worldview that demonstrates care for all humans, whether they are at their earliest stages of development inside their mothers’ wombs, or outside in the world, fighting for their rights. We see that women remain particularly vulnerable in today’s world. For example, millions of women are exploited each year in sex trafficking. In some countries, girls are still fighting for the right to be educated, or simply to drive and generally to provide a better world for their own daughters.

Faye Sonier

Faye Sonier

All girls also face a horrific battle just to survive, at their earliest stage of development. As The Economist reported a few years ago, millions of girls are being aborted due to cultural preferences for male children. The shortage of women in certain countries leads to more sex trafficking, providing a correlated rights abuse between easy access to abortion and human trafficking, something the compassion of pro-choicers is blind toward.

In short, we care about women too, in ways you don’t and we endeavour to walk our talk. We regularly donate to charities that seek to end the sex-trafficking of women, help girls attend schools in cultures that discourage it and also seek to raise awareness about the value and the life of females, even as they grow in the womb. We give to pregnancy care centres that extend care well beyond a couple of diapers, and to pro-adoption charities. There are numerous pro-lifers we are aware of caring for children with disabilities, with fetal alcohol syndrome, even babies who are addicted to drugs their mothers took, perhaps not even knowing they were pregnant before they gave birth. Our care extends regardless of age, level of development or their abilities or political outlook. We even care about you.

While we cannot give funds to your campaign for the reasons set out below, if you’re willing to waive your anonymity, we’d willingly provide our tax receipts to you, and we’d ask you to do the same in all fairness. We’ve all been giving for years. When we had more funds, we’ve given more, and during hard years of financial difficulty, we’ve given less, but we’ve given. We’ve also volunteered, helped women in our lives with childcare and can provide you with information so you can ask them about it.

Andrea Mrozek

Andrea Mrozek

I hope you’re reasonable enough to understand why it’s ridiculous to expect hard-working citizens to donate one million dollars to an anonymous person on the internet, when our funds could go to registered charities doing great work that have financial reporting and accountability measures in place.

Would you donate one million dollars to an anonymous pro-lifer who simply promised to spend your money on one endeavour or another? Of course not.

The argument that underlies your campaign is one that pro-choicers have been making for years. It’s the oft-repeated ‘Pro-lifers don’t care about women, and they don’t care about babies once they are born. They have no right to speak against abortion unless they are willing to care for these children.’

You’ve actually taken the rhetoric an unfathomable step further by being willing to sacrifice your own child in order to make this point. The argument that you’ve adopted basically states that if you’re unwilling to personally provide a solution for a certain problem, then you’ve lost the ability to speak out against that problem or injustice. An example to expose the intellectual poverty of your argument: We assume you care about domestic violence. Yet we also assume you do not provide a shelter in your apartment or home for every woman in your community who suffers abuse. Would it be reasonable on our part to then turn around and void your concern for spousal abuse?

The same could be said for any number of charitable endeavours.

We might add that yes, there are some activist pro-lifers who do little more than aim to draw attention to the plight of people who are killed in their mother’s womb. If we changed the issue—say to those who draw attention to the plight of the prisoner in totalitarian regimes, or those who draw attention to the plight of the hungry by doing nothing more than the odd 24-hour fast, we wouldn’t say that is wrong. We’d say they are doing what they can. The problem is that with the pro-life movement, you reject our premise and fail to see fighting for the human right to life at all ages as a valid cause. If you accepted the cause, you’d accept the effort, however meager. Pro-lifers are not the only ones who can be charged with hypocrisy.

In short, the argument that underlies your campaign is flawed. Your means to achieving it is one most reasonable people would never consider endorsing, much less financially supporting. And you’re making a life or death decision on these poor considerations. And getting the media to buy into your web page, suggesting you are not without resource or at very least, not without great media contacts.

In your state of residence, you are free to make a choice to kill your child. As you noted, you are also free to choose to place your child in a loving home of your choice. In the end, the choice is clearly yours, in every conceivable way. At ProWomanProLife, we have the tagline “Canada without abortion, by choice,” asking women to look outside politics and laws to consider in their hearts what abortion is. May you choose to do so, instead of launching manipulative and exploitative publicity stunts.

Sincerely,

Faye Sonier & Andrea Mrozek

Filed Under: All Posts, Featured Media, Feminism, Other

Your summer reading list

July 1, 2015 by Faye Sonier Leave a Comment

Want to know what Canadian pro-life leaders think you should be reading? The National Campus Life Network just provided you with that list here. It’s a wide ranging list with something for everyone and I’m looking forward to working through the recommendations over the next year.

Books

Enjoy!

 

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Liberal: My mom’s conservatism saved my life

June 16, 2015 by Faye Sonier 4 Comments

The abortion debate really need not be a battle between the right and the left. The lot of us agree on human rights, and a segment of the population believes human rights should begin when human life begins. Polls show that most Canadians, both those who situate themselves on the right and the left, want restrictions on abortion access in Canada. I think we have more in common than not.

This writer shares that her mother found herself pregnant in college and that…

Given the information she had at the time, given the fact that she was so close to finishing school, and given MY secular, liberal worldview… I have no doubt at all that if I had been my mother, there would have been no me.

Something to consider, isn’t it? Yet the writer seems to remain pro-choice.

Invitro

Filed Under: All Posts, Featured Posts, Motherhood

Pro-life physicians: Your courage emboldens us

June 15, 2015 by Faye Sonier 2 Comments

I haven’t blogged much lately. My mat leave ended in March, I started a new job as Executive Director of Canadian Physicians for Life on March 30th, and I’ve been trying to get used to my new life circumstances. I’m working from home, which permits me to be around my son all day long. I feel pretty lucky. These are pretty much my ideal circumstances.

But my PWPL blogging has been light. I hope to remedy that in coming weeks. I’m just struggling to find a new rhythm.

I attended the Christian Medical and Dental Society conference this weekend in Calgary. It was an amazing conference attended by passionate, pro-life physicians. I heard all kinds of inspiring stories. A couple shared how they have been serving in the pro-life movement together for 50 years. One physician shared how she had been attacked for her beliefs. Another shared how he served his patients to the best of his abilities while abiding by his conscience.

I respect these physicians more than they’ll likely ever know. I can’t imagine how tough the schooling and residencies must have been. (In fact, I spent a lot of time asking them how they did it. With my health limitations, I would have never survived either.) Being a physician is a hard calling, I imagine, but it’s a beautiful one. And now, with their professional regulatory bodies stripping them of their conscience rights, these doctors face additional challenges. I’ve prayed for pro-life physicians for years, and I’ll continue to do so.

I had a moment to share my heart with them during the conference, but it wasn’t quite enough to express my deep gratitude. I wanted to tell them that their courage and commitment to the sanctity and beauty of life – of all lives – emboldens myself and others to commit ourselves further to this fight to protect life.

In September, Ann Voskamp wrote the following words, which I’ve copied into my prayer journal. I’d love to share these words with Canada’s pro-life physicians:

You can hear it about this time of September, breathing warm courage into our exhausted places: “Just Call to Me. I guarantee I will answer you. I will make you strong & brave.” (Ps.138:3)

Be Brave. Hold out your Light to hold back the flood of dark. 

Be Brave. Your bravery wins a thousand battles you can’t see because your bravery strengthens a thousand others to win their battles too. 

Be Brave. And do not pray for the hard thing to go away. But pray for a bravery to come that’s bigger than the hard thing.

Be Brave. There are angels closer than you know. 

Darkness

Thank you, pro-life physicians, for abiding by the Hippocratic Oath, for respecting life and being willing to fight in order to protect it. Thank you for your courage. Thank you for being brave.

photo credit: August Moon via photopin (license)

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Dear topless pro-choice protestor

May 14, 2015 by Faye Sonier 15 Comments

The March for Life is being held right now in Ottawa. I was  unable to make it, but it turns out a woman took off her shirt to protest the pro-life position. Again. Here is my open letter to her.

Dear Woman-Who-Pulled-Off-Her-Shirt at the March for Life rally:

I gather you feel strongly about abortion and women’s unrestricted access to it. You probably have personal reasons for that position. Perhaps you had an abortion you felt you needed or simply wanted, or perhaps a friend or a loved one had an abortion. Maybe she felt she had no other option but to kill the child growing inside her, and you stood by her and supported her. Or maybe you simply believe that abortion access is a human rights issue.

While I’ll likely disagree with your reasons for legalized abortion, I do support your right to express yourself and share your perspective.

However, going topless at a pro-life rally really isn’t a great way to make your point. Showing your breasts to the world is not an argument in favour of legalized abortion. It simply isn’t.

Toplessness isn’t shocking anymore, and for a few reasons. First, probably more than half of the March participants are women. They have their own breasts. They aren’t surprised by another pair. Your bare breasts do nothing to persuade them to adopt a pro-choice position.

As for the men, even the religious officials, they know what breasts look like. Really. Honestly. And I highly doubt a single one of them gasped in horror and fled the stage. And I am positive not a single one changed his pro-life perspective.

And we live in a sadly over-sexualized culture. Enough said.

You may have attended last year’s March rally where another woman (or perhaps two?) took off her shirt and stormed the stage. The speaker, a male religious official, didn’t bat an eye or miss a beat.

Topless protesting doesn’t really elicit much attention at all. A few people might tweet what you did, but really, that’s about it. And it doesn’t convey a point or an argument.

And is drawing attention to yourself for an act of nudity persuasive in the first place?

clothesline

My next point is that there are interesting and engaging pro-choice arguments. The violinist argument? Have you heard of it? It’s not a perfect analogy or argument, but it has given plenty of pro-lifers reason for pause and reflection over the years. I’m all for pro-choicers advancing arguments that cause us to think and more carefully consider our position. Bring on the good arguments, enlightening illustrations and personal stories. Most pro-lifers want to listen to what you have to say. We hope that you’ll listen to our arguments and stories too.

I hope you’re okay, and you weren’t hurt when security pulled you out of the crowd. I hope that you have an opportunity to really share your perspective and even your own story. If you feel like getting in touch with me or anyone else at PWPL, you can reach us here.  Andrea responds to email requests quite quickly. We’ll be in touch.

Maybe someday we can even have coffee. But let’s keep our tops on, okay?

Kind regards,

Faye Sonier

Filed Under: All Posts, Featured Media, Feminism

Hearing from our pro-life advocates

May 13, 2015 by Faye Sonier 1 Comment

I love this and this.

The editors at Faith Today, the Evangelical Fellowship of Canada’s magazine, interviewed a number of pro-life students and staffers in their most recent issue. It’s a quick but encouraging read. A few samples:

“I stay involved in the pro-life movement because abortion is a human rights violation that takes the lives of so many children. It has no parallel in history. We know this. With that knowledge comes responsibility. ” Alex vande Bruinhorst, Canadian Centre for Bio-Ethical Reform, Calgary

“The thing I would like Canadians to know about abortion is that abortion is legal throughout all nine months of pregnancy, which puts us in the same category as North Korea and China. I’d like to ask each Canadian a simple question: Do you believe in human rights? Because if the answer is yes, then shouldn’t human rights begin where the human being begins?”  Jonathon Van Maren, Canadian Centre for Bio-Ethical Reform

I love the honesty of this statement:

“I stay involved in the pro-life movement in Canada because the pay is below average, levels of stress is high, I work days, evenings, weekends, and I haven’t had a real vacation in 3 years. I question my involvement in the movement every day and after almost 4 years of working for Campaign Life Coalition, I still don’t know why I keep coming back, but I do.” Matthew Wojciechowski, Campaign Life Coalition Communication Director, Toronto

Thank you student and staff advocates for all you do and all your sacrifices.

Students

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Being transformed by tragedy

May 10, 2015 by Faye Sonier Leave a Comment

As readers of this blog know, Kara Tippetts died a few months ago. Her husband, Jason, wrote a piece for the Washington Post explaining how his family was going to spend this first Mother’s Day without her. It’s a beautiful and poignant article.

This paragraph is with loaded with wisdom:

We will live in the reality of life instead of in our hidden expectations of how we want to be treated. I want my kids to enter into the celebration of this day, to remember the life their mom lived and the character traits she desired to foster in them: kindness, compassion and love. Our character develops when we are stretched, and this day will stretch us.

No one desires to experience hurt or face tragedy, but these experiences transform us. If we permit it, we can become better, stronger and more resilient as a result of them. We can become more compassionate and understanding. We may even experience joy, as Kara did, in the midst of heartbreak.

Tulip

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Fifty Shades of Grey: A feminist tale

May 7, 2015 by Faye Sonier 2 Comments

I went to the pharmacy yesterday to pick up a few things up and Fifty Shades of Grey was sitting on the shelves behind the cash.

At least it was behind the cash.

People are going to buy the DVD, forget it, and leave it lying around in a pile with their other DVDs. Some children and tweens are going to find the DVD and watch it, perhaps not really knowing to expect. Children can’t regain their innocence once it’s lost. And innocence is a beautiful and wonderful thing, something to be cherished. But who worries about stuff like that? Those of us in the Prude Revolution, like Ms. Mrozek. Join us.

Anyhoodle (yes, I got that from Ms. Mrozek), I tripped over this comic strip online a few days ago and loved it.

one-shade-of-grey-tatsuya-ishida

Filed Under: All Posts, Featured Posts, Feminism

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